Saturday Six.

How do you feel about the death penalty?

Coming from Scotland I find the death penalty really strange. I used to think if someone took a life then yes, we should take their life, but over the past couple of years I've reached the conclusion that it doesn't make sense to keep someone on death row for years and years with the sentence of death hanging over them.

Did you make a New Year's resolution? If so--what!?

To be healthier. I know, it's the boring and very clichéd resolution but I need to work harder on myself. I found out earlier in the year I have M.E so I'm striving to be healthier. 

Why do women take men on Maury for paternity tests when they know DAMN well that Maury is going to say..."You are NOT the father!"??

I don't know but that really annoys me! Why bother trying to make yourself look responsible, good or like you're "doing the right thing" when you know he's not the father. To me that is the lowest of the low.

Teen Mom on MTV...does it glorify teen pregnancy? Do you watch it? Don't lie--you do, don't you?

Okay, here's the thing...I don't watch it but I have seen clips of it. Does it glorify teen pregnancy? Well I don't know as I have never watched a full episode but hopefully it will show teens just how damn hard being a mother truly is. The commitment, selflessness and sheer effort of it is not something I could have dealt with as a high school student, or even as a teen. I applaud anyone who finds themselves in that situation and does their best and hardest with it.

Pajama jeans--rockin or ridic?

What the...? Never even heard of them, but hey if people are comfortable in them I don't care. I used to think Ugg boots were ugly and now everyone, including myself, (although I don't wear Ugg as I'm vegan) wears them.  

Travel back in time--tell us about the teenage you!

I had an opinion about everything - even more so than now - and I thought my parents were constantly trying to run my life. I was also a bit of a big mouth when it came to it, but not at all confident and I lacked the self esteem that I seem blessed with these days. I was also very, very unhappy and miserable with myself and my life. I wasn't doing well in school because I felt under so much pressure to be "smart" even though I am very intelligent, I just wasn't getting good grades in any classes and it brought me down. There is so much more I want to write but I would never, ever go back to being a teen even if you paid me.

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House Hunting.

Well, it was one of 'those' days today.

I woke up annoyed and tired; I'd been on the phone till 3.30am to my sister and it was roughly about 8.45am when I heard cries coming from Roman's room and my day began. 

As the day wore on at 12pm I was so exhausted I wanted somebody to shoot me. However, we had to go and view a house we're looking to rent at 2pm and I so wanted to reschedule. But I figured if I stay in I'll fall asleep on the sofa and not be able to sleep tonight until 5 in the morning. If I go out, however, it will keep me going even if I feel like death warmed up.

Or so was the logic.

Well we set off with plenty of time to kill - Bryan has this weird thing of being on time. Pah! Over rated completely if you ask me...but it actually worked out pretty well as Google Street View doesn't do things justice and I was able to have a proper nose around the area versus if we'd been running late, going at 100MPH (I travel at a cool 2MPH at all times, however. One of the joys of having M.E) and all frantic and not get a shot at seeing stuff about us. Also, I got some perfect opportunities to take photographs as we waited the ten or so minutes for our agent to show up.

The house was actually really great, minus a few details. Like the bog that was the garden. Or the fact the living room matched the size of a dolls house living room. But then I reminded myself to take off my Perfectionist cap and look at things objectively.

It more than fit our needs. The kitchen was a healthy size - one of the most important rooms in a home. The bathroom was also a decent size. The stairs aren't too steep. The living room has blinds. It comes with a TV and DVD player in the bedroom - nope, still don't plan on connecting a TV up, paying for and owning a TV licence as I see it as an unessential expense when there are so many TV shows on-line and which idiot thought that one out, anyway?

Also, once summer rolls around hopefully the bog of a garden won't be so water logged - it was like stepping onto the surface of a chocolate mousse. Only, not at all tasty. And we have some vegetables that need planting by May. It means we can have our own vegetable patch - the idea of that sounds great but I know how much work my Mum put into her veggies.

There is also a teeny tiny little play park about three houses down. It probably won't be suitable for Roman until he's nearer his second birthday, but it's there. 

We've honestly been searching on and off for months for a place and it's rare when I feel comfortable about moving to somewhere. And I definitely feel it about this place. We'll see how things pan out in that department, this might not be the place we'll call home. And I have this horrible feeling that before the ink is even dry on the tenancy agreement that things will start to go horribly wrong for us.

Photography.

I am sometimes asked:

"What camera do you use?"

I understand why people ask this as it's a normal response when you see a photograph you like, you wonder about the technology behind it. Maybe so you can have a piece of that for yourself, or maybe you're even thinking about upgrading your camera.

Well, I can tell you this right here and now: if you're thinking of "upgrading" your camera, you'd have no interest in my 2004 photographic technology ;). Yes, I use a camera from 2004. 

I wrote about my camera a few months ago and I am constantly surprised when people think I must use a more professional camera - or a DSLR for those of you who can talk the talk. I remember seeing it in the shop (second hand, by the way) and I couldn't take my eyes off it. I'd wanted to buy a more expensive DSLR camera for a while (in the Canon EOS range), but this seemed to fit my needs better at the time. It was hundreds of pounds cheaper, for a start.

What I learned quickly are a few things in order to get a good photograph from any camera:

1. Always have good photo editing software you feel comfortable using. Get to know the controls and the short cuts. I used to use Picnik for editing my photos and it was honestly as good as any software out there - I can spot when someone has used Picnik to edit their photos a mile off. I downloaded a Picasa program so I could edit my photos off-line and it has an option which will take you to the Picnik site. I could probably still get by on this software, but I found it very limiting so I decided to bite the bullet and try a little something from Adobe called Lightroom. I downloaded a trial version, which took me up to 30 days of use. For some reason my trial ran out and I was able to update to a better version of Lightroom so I had another 30 days on my trial. I love to test everything before I buy it and at first I didn't like Lightroom. It wasn't hard to figure out, but I didn't like the "export" option, which basically meant "save." The reason they have this export option is that Lightroom won't write over your original photo. When you get the hang of it, it's really great. I paid £145 for a download version of Lightroom and I don't regret it for a single second (it was B's Christmas gift to me and it's money well spent and invested.)

2. Always, always use natural light whenever, wherever you can. I notice a huge difference in the way people react to my natural lighted photos than to my flash photography photos. With the above software there are editing tricks you can pull to give you natural light, but it doesn't really give off the same effects.

I'll show you an example of a photograph shot in natural light:

Now here's one I took a little after 4pm today, when it was dark as midnight outside:

I haven't edited the photos so that you can see the differences in the quality of photo you're likely to get using the different methods. I always, always find that natural light is the way to go and only use a flash when I have too. 

You don't need to spend hundreds on a great camera - although if you really want and can afford to, don't let me stop you. I paid £150 for my camera and that was considered cheap for the model I bought. Given that it's from 2004 and I remember back in 2004 it was around the £700 mark, it shows me that when it comes to technology that prices are fleeting and if you apply the above simple and easy principles - investing in good software and taking advantage of nature - then you're probably going to save a packet.

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And spare a comment so I can put happy faces onto these sad faces.

Little Things.

You know that saying about great things that come in small packages? 

It's true. Although, in terms of "small" I don't know if Roman can be considered that. He is the biggest baby so far in the history of my family, born at 10lbs, 1 and a half ounces.

Still, while he's a small package now, he's great. 

He copies everything I do. If I cough, he starts to cough. If I yawn, he yawns. If I stick my tongue out, he does the same. I think you're starting to get the picture here (and you can literally see the picture above.)

I still think he's great even when it's 2/3/4/5/whatever am and he's awake - yep, since October he's been getting up in the middle of the night/early hours of the morning and I have reached the conclusion that teeth are causing his restfulness. I've also been in denial of his wakening, putting it down to a sleep regression or a cold...but now I've got to accept the facts: he wakes up at inappropriate times of the night and morning. 

I got so used to the fact he sleeps right through from 7pm until 8 or 9am in the morning. I got so used to that stretch of time that was mine again. As selfish or as bad as you think that sounds (and I don't, just normal) it's also very true. It was nice having the evening for "the adults" again. 

But now it more or less looks like this (nine times out of ten):

I promise we're not hippies.

I know these intermissions won't last forever and I know this time won't last forever, so I'm enjoying each wakeful moment I can. Meanwhile chewing on the inside of my lip.

He's pretty good at night, just gets a change then is back to bed. Also, there have been the odd nights where he does sleep through...I just wish things in life worked out consistently, but that's not how it goes apparently.

Having a baby around is the biggest and nicest shock I've had in my life.

Some more photos I took yesterday (just for the cute overload): 

He's laughing. At what I don't know.

I just loveee the backs of babies heads - very kissable!

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And spare a comment so I can put happy faces onto these sad faces.

C-c-c-changes.

Our much loved (and much used) Graco buggy died a death on Christmas Eve.

It cost Bryan's parents a "fair whack" so I expected it would last a while - at least one year. So far it has provided service for over ten months and then the wheel snapped off in the snow - which, let's be fair, was Bryan's fault.

A nice clear un-iced pavement over a huge snow pile on the other side of the pavement, plus his Action Man manoeuvres to be more exact. So he decides it would be smarter to travel across the snow piles. Smart move. I mean that teenager on the iPod who was more or less bopping down the pavement really needed that clear path. Whereas us, with the buggy, (and me who moves at a snails pace) lets take the A&E route. The Buggy Breaker Route. Smaaaaart.

Crunch. Crack. Lots of swearing. The teenager with the iPod actually turned around to look at me like I was crazy. And maybe I am. But maybe, in eight years time, when she has a buggy with a child inside it, maybe then she'll be the one doing the screaming fish wife thing on the street on Christmas Eve. Which, in case you forgot, was also my birthday.

I've consoled myself since with the fact that Graco is a "cheap brand anyway/I don't need smelly Graco." Although is several hundred pounds worth of buggy really a cheap brand? Plus that buggy also doubled as a crib for many months, so really we probably got about two years out of it.

And the wheels were ready to give. They were getting balder than a bald eagle.

So, without consciously waiting for the sales, we got a buggy in the sales. With foot muff. I'd been worried about our old Graco (or aka That Piece of Junk in Roman's room) for some time. For a start it had made promises of being able to remove the material and wash it. Well, that didn't happen. You had to have a PhD in physics to work out how to remove the cover as it required moving and unscrewing parts of the buggy I never knew existed. So when it was rebuilt, it was out of shape and wouldn't go back to the position it had been in before.

And it was still smelly. 

It was great to push around, but it was also built like a tank, which isn't really practical when you don't drive or own a car and your buggy is the sole means of transporting your child around in a country obsessed with small aisles in shops and rude mannered people who even when you say in your most sugary, polite voice; "Excuse me, please" stand there like penguins at the North Pole.

So ding dong the Graco's dead and I'm actually quite pleased. 

Although, I'm not sure Roman is too pleased about being so low down in his new ride.

I'm also working on a new Header (which will replace the three sets of shoes; shoes which we've all strangely enough outgrown or thrown out - which isn't too strange, as that's what happens with shoes, but you get what I mean) and I am finding this a little trickier than making the previous header. 

So I need a vote in helping me make the choice and I will put the most voted/liked header up.

I have narrowed it down to two choices (although I know which one Bryan will like already):

Choice One:

And Choice Two:

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And spare a comment so I can put happy faces onto these sad faces.

HAPPY New Year.

Welcome to 2011, everyone. 

Which for me, as a first-time parent, means I'm coming ever closer to the birthday of my first born.

Coming so close to being the parent of a one year old is quite a scary responsibility.

First of all, it is knowing that using a piece of material to play a simple game of peekaboo will eventually not provide the answer to all of life's upsets. But it is also a wonderful responsibility.

It is knowing that one day this nearly-one-year-old will have a nearly-one-year-old of their own and they'll be thinking all, or some, of the same thoughts that pass through my mind on an hourly basis; new, some not so new and some downright weird thoughts.

Some of them:

Wonder if I've won that competition for the eco-friendly cot/nursery set?

Wonder if Roman's head will get trapped in between the bars of his cot? (That are big enough to slip a baby sized leg through, by the way.)

I wonder what Roman's mission companions will be called/which country they'll be from/if he'll (in some kind of cool twist of fate) end up serving with his cousin, Ben?

How cool would it be if Roman served his mission in Spokane, Washington and the Kirk boys served in the Scotland/Ireland mission.

I wonder if he'll ever cut a tooth - looks like that one was answered on New Years Eve as we were greeted by a razor sharp tooth on the left hand side of the bottom gum and the next day another appeared neighbouring it.

Second of all, it is scary being so close to his first birthday because this time last year I remember just wanting it all to be over - not believing that a baby would actually appear, that it was all some myth. I remember being horribly ill and not letting on just how bad I was really feeling as I'd already been to hospital, strapped up to some uncomfortable monitor for a day and I didn't fancy spending more time strapped to more monitors...or worse, have to go through a C-section.

Then he ended up coming eight days later than scheduled - just to keep us on our toes. 

Thirdly I remember this time two years ago. I wasn't a mother or a wife. I was just me. On my own. Doing my thing. With an engagement ring, of course and a date of marriage in my mind; May 2009. That turned out to be 20th February, 2009.

Anyway, another thing about being a parent is waiting for the boredom/dread/regret to kick in. It still hasn't and I don't think it will. It really has been a Happy 2010 - not a lot of complaint from Roman (well if you catch him before dinner time you might get a few grunts of complaint) and loads of smiles.

A Christmas post is still in the works, as is a round-up of the year in photo's, but I wanted to start the year on a HAPPY note ;).

But yes, we did enjoy Roman's first Christmas.

And I have the funniest feeling he rather enjoyed it, too!

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And spare a comment so I can put happy faces onto these sad faces.

The Most Magical Time of the Year...

So we (a large percentage of us in the Western World and those of us who live by Western trends) are all preparing for that event that comes once a year. Christmas! 

Here's how things are done around here:

It starts with a tree...

Add some candy canes...

Some trimmings...

And let's not forget one thing: THE PRESENTS!

And we're all set for the arrival of Santa Claus! 

On the tree:

We weren't planning on buying a tree this year. We don't have a lot of space in our place and so we were limited for storage space. Our options were thin on the ground and having a tree seemed more hassle than it was worth - we couldn't find one that was under a certain size that was decent (and didn't look like a toilet brush with tinsel on). I'd sold into the idea of buying a pop-up tree (at least then it folded down into one compact size) and that was when Bryan spotted Christmas in a bag. This is the perfect solution as the tree comes apart - with the branches folding up into compact sizes, perfect for storing. Everything then fits back into the bag once it's been used. It's about the same size as a woman's weekend bag. 

On the candy canes:

When I was growing up, this is something we had on our tree every year. My Mum would buy a box of candy canes from BHS (for about £10 for a box of 20 and I have just bought a box of 12 for £1) in which to decorate the tree. I know this is a very Americanised Christmas tradition, but it is also a Kirk Christmas tradition, too! And so, it has become a Quinn Christmas tradition ;). It didn't feel quite like Christmas until the candy canes were bought and hung on the tree - they're also very tempting to munch but I'm restraining myself and keeping them for decorative purposes have nibbled a few.

On the trimmings:

I really, really didn't want to overdo the Christmas decorations this year. I think Christmas can be understated, restrained and still look gorgeous. I dedicated the biggest table in our flat to the tree and slowly but surely it has become the "Christmas Corner." We have one Santa decoration hanging above our radiator and some Christmas cards up on our shelf, but I think that'll do this year. However, there were obvious little trinkets, added extras and the matter of stockings to consider ;). Roman's stocking hasn't arrived yet (sadly), but I have hung mine. Bryan want's a sock, so that's why you only see one stocking hanging up. 

I also added under the tree Roman's name train. I stole this idea from my Christmas crazy friend Lauren - who is like the opposite of the Grinch at Christmas time. I can't believe how much has changed from this time last year to now: pretty much everything!

I've included a few little reminders of last year's Christmas under our tree. My Mum gave me a cute little Christmas tree trinket box last year and it wasn't until a few days ago that I found it in Roman's room. I thought it would look perfect under our tree, along with an empty (but pretty) box which contained some presents Bryan's Mum got me last year. I kept the box because it was one of those things that was too pretty to be thrown away and I'm glad I did as it looks brilliant with all the presents under our tree.

Ah yes, and lest I forget my After Eight Santa! I have not seen these anywhere ever before, so when I spotted them in the Poundshop (of all places!) in October I told Bryan I would really like one in my stocking this year as it's impossible to find anything like this that's dairy free. I decided to buy one in for myself as it seemed like the sort of thing that might sell like hot cakes - and I was right! I didn't see them in any of the Poundshops we visited and I was convinced I'd missed my opportunity - until I saw them yesterday!

 I don't actually know what it will taste like, but I'm just so excited of finding a Santa chocolate like this - I feel like I've found Narnia in a wardrobe.

On the presents:

As I read more and more stories about toxic chemicals in plastic toys (and how our government recently put a ban on how certain products were made) I was slightly worried about the heavy plasticised toy market out there - nearly everything is made from plastic! I don't blame the manufacturers (well, actually, I do) as these products are cheap, pliable and affordable for their customers (although in saying that we scored Roman's presents for cheaper than any of the plastic things I've seen).

Of course, there are "safe plastics" out there and while he still has some plastic based toys in his toy box, it's also bearing in mind the production mess that these toys make (the factory pumping out harmful toxins into the atmosphere, into the rivers and oceans and back into the soil and landfill sites) - and the recycling mess on a domestic level. As we all know, plastic is very hard wearing, and with this it can take about a gazillion years to break down in recycling (not literally a gazillion years.)

So, with this in mind I was quite adamant that a bulk of his presents (if not all) that came from us were wood-based toys. I'm not sure what we'll do when he Bryan wants Lego in the coming years - but I suppose the argument for Lego is that it's awesome (please note the sarcasm...kind of.) 

One of the "big presents" is this wooden activity cube. It has a shape sorter on top, clock face and hands on one side, a wooden maze/wooden block thingy on side, a hippo and lion style abacus on one side and a magnetic board on another side. It's charming - but it weighs a tonne!

It's gorgeous and reminds me of childhood for some strange reason. 

Other things we've got him: a wooden lift and place jigsaw puzzle, a huge box of wooden blocks and little animals, a T-shirt saying "My Daddy Rocks" and an alien hooded dressing gown - there is also the matter of a wooden stacking owl from Brio which we're still humming and hawing over. He will also have his little stocking which will be filled with baby-appropriate lovelies. We're simply not over-doing it this year with him and enjoying the fact he's here and outside the womb this year! 

*Although I'm tempted to buy him more - but it's not appropriate. We don't have the space. And we want to move. And his First birthday is in February. I need to keep the Greedy Guts inside me and ignore all the Baby Toy related emails that keep popping up in my Inbox. Babies don't remember their First Christmases! Plus, when he's a teenager I'm sure he'll have all kinds of unreasonable and expensive gift requests.

I say that as though I've bought him a lump of coal and a mouldy orange. I think what we've got him is a perfect amount and I really feel as though we've struck the right balance between "too little" and "too much."