Puffy Eyed And Sleepy.

With Saturday fully booked by both sets of grandparents - one in the morning, another in the afternoon - a nap was missed leading to over-sleeping after church today. To be exact it was after 4pm when Bryan retrieved a sleeping Roman from his bed and he came to me like this; with the sleepy snarl and puffy eyes. He was quickly placed onto the couch next to me and handed a (vegan) donut and seemed to perk up fast - I wonder why? ;).

Some Smell.

I love having a garden and so does Roman. I think wherever we go now, we'll have a garden, unless we're unable to afford a rented place with one, of course ;). Roman loves the weeds that grow in our garden. "Lubbly fwowers (lovely flowers)!" he'll declare, making a grab for a fistful of weeds. "Some smell," he'll say, stuffing his nose right into the 'flower.' 

And yeah this photo has nothing to do with a garden, flowers or weeds but I had to share it; we came in, he was angry and so he threw his water down on the ground in a protest. Shortly after this I threw down that dish towel and he started to mop it up without prompting. We're going through some funny phases right now with this boy and more than ever I feel I'm really getting to know and see his developing personality.

My Dearest Boy.

My dearest boy, Roman.

Today you entertained the visiting teachers, ate like I'd never saw before and walked very peacefully to and from the shop. You're just no longer a baby, and haven't been for some time. You're my boy; my ever growing boy. 

You work things out, rather than expect someone else to do your thinking but you will ask for help if you need it. You're balanced out that way that me and dad just aren't. Our legs would be falling off and we'd still be 'fine.' A product of our time, our generation and our upbringing. I hope that changes with you. I hope this balance you have stays because I enjoy learning from it. 

I hope you never have a crushing need to please others all the time or an insecurity about others that makes it hard on you to make and keep good friends. You seem to do okay right now, just as you are, and I hope it stays that way. I'm working on me so I can be better for you and I'm sorry if I don't always get it right or if I slip up from time to time. I am trying so very hard and have never worked so hard on anything more in my life and I'm enjoying the changes; I'm enjoying the relief of letting go and the weight taken off my chest from self forgiveness - I hope you see that one day, in the future, when many years have past and you're no longer my toddler but a fully grown adult who has the world in front of them.

I often wonder about your children and how you'll be as a parent. I can't believe I'm going to be a part of your life, it's going to be so exciting and scary as you grow but I'm looking forward to it. I hope you are, too.

I love you boy.