Wednesday 29 February 2012

Becoming a Boy.

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He's fast becoming such a big boy. Lately he loves to do everything lying on his tummy - I suppose it must be comfortable for him, but I'm not so sure it's that great for his digestion ;).

P.S: Happy leap year day. And happy extra day for 2012 :).

Tuesday 28 February 2012

Mummy's Happy Boy.

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Even though he was pretty cheeky this morning - and giving a good run for his money this afternoon in the cheeky/rascally stakes - I'm quite pleased that the red faced tantrum-ing toddler is a thing of the past (at least for today.) And I'm pleased that he has mostly been smiling like this all day - in spite of the two big 'bumps' he's had and of course not forgetting all the other little bumps here and there.


Oh how I love the smiley little toddler. Please let him stay. Amen. 

Monday 27 February 2012

Hand.

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Everywhere I go, he goes.

Last week, when we went swimming, and he couldn't see me in the changing room (despite being right next to my mum) he shouted out; 'MUH-MEE!' and came running towards me. 

Bryan ran some errands this afternoon so it was me and Roman by ourselves. He kept chasing me around the house and making his following ways into a game. I know he feels more secure around me or B and while that's the way it should be, it does make picture taking difficult ;). If I want to catch him being busy then he needs to be doing something that requires him to concentrate. Like drawing or eating. And even at that he'll pick up the paper, crayons, bowl of food or whatever and will follow me. 

Today he wanted me to take his hand while we scouted round the place, the only time he let up was when he stopped to admire his cheeky reflection in the hall mirror.

He's been hard work today. I know I worked up a sweat with the things he was doing; pushing over the TV (yep), slapping me and B (double yep. And I am not happy about this) and the worst thing he did to me; clawed the skin near my eyes, making me look like I'd been beaten up due to the hives developing round the area. 

There are some days I wish we had a room full of padding and a ball pit so he could work out the energy there, rather than on one of us.

Sunday 26 February 2012

Baf.

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'Bafs' and 'bubbos' make his day complete. 

Especially 'bubbos' smeared all across his face.

And yes, don't you just want eyelashes like that?

Saturday 25 February 2012

Another Point of View.

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I've been feeling a bit under the weather (achy, pukey, warmy and generally not well) so today Bryan had the job of taking Roman's photo with his cheap camera - I say cheap but a lot of people wouldn't consider it cheap at all, I suppose, but then you consider how much money has gone into my own photography kit and you might think twice about that ;).  

When I asked him to take a photo I assumed he'd snap one on my camera but I'm glad he caught it on his. Life isn't just about showing the 'good bits' or trying to impress people. It's not about being flash, a poser or a perfectionist. Life, and this photo project, is all about capturing moments and enjoying the results. And Bryan's results made me smile from ear to ear. 

This is the boy we both love equally. The boy who is his own person - the one who loves to play with the doors and hide in the porch (I know it was called a porch in England, which was news to me, so I don't know if it's called something different in Scotland/the rest of the world.)

This is my little boy and this my little reminder that he's still small. Still so young, innocent and care-free. When he's driving me to tears I'm going to keep this picture in my mind and in my heart. I'll try to remind myself of his sweetness and remind myself that this won't last forever.

Friday 24 February 2012

Finished.

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A happier day. A happier boy. All to my relief and happiness. A little boy eats a bowl full of humus very happily and when he's done announces; "Aw dun!" (all done) and follows that up with, "mimished" (finished), the bowl held away from his body like this, waiting for me to take it away.

I love his new found independence, but I still love these moments like this. He'll fight me for the spoon and feed himself, but he's quite happy for me to take the bowl away. And I should add, let me do the dirty work of washing all his dishes ;).

Just as well he's so cute and super helpful with his other chores :P.

Thursday 23 February 2012

Goodbye to the Grandparents.

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It's one of those shots where the only person who knows where to look is the professional model (my mum) ;).

So today I was tired and emotional - tired because Roman has been sick, got up early and caused hell on mine and B's sleeping patterns and emotional because today was the day my mum went back home, 6 and a half hours away. She's been here for 2 weeks, spending 5 days in between at my grans. Knowing she was going away and coming back last week I was quite happy to send her away (I would have loved to have been selfish and keep her to myself, of course) but today I knew it was the day to say goodbye - for a while - and even though we kept saying goodbye I'm not sure Roman understood the concept so well.

I took him to the door to say goodbye, then to the gate, and then we walked to the car to say it. He was absolutely fine, took it completely in his stride...and then they drove away. When I began to walk back in with him, he ran to the gate and shouted; 'CAR! CAR! CAAAR! WANT!' I felt absolutely awful by this point. He totally lost the plot when we got back into the house and I was tempted to ring my parents up and tell them to come back. I felt unable to deal with two meltdowns in two days - I know that's probably nothing to a lot of parents but I do not like these meltdowns. I honestly don't want another one for a very long time because I'm not used to them at all.

When we got into the living room, he just lost it. Tears, a red face, lots of screaming, shouting 'door, door!' for me to open the door and it dawned on me that I was really tired and emotional watching him like this. On one hand I began to question my own parenting; have I spoiled him? What am I doing wrong? Have I done anything wrong? Is this normal? and on the other hand I felt all at sea with these new outbursts of pure...rage. Frustration, rage, anger - whatever you want to call it. Roman was not happy that his gran had left. I could tell because I was feeling the same way. I didn't want my mum to leave. But over the years I've learned to dampen that hurt when someone leaves - because I know they will come back.

He doesn't know if they'll come back. He doesn't really understand the concept of time just yet. He doesn't understand 'just wait five minutes' let alone 'just wait another few weeks/months and we'll see them again.' And that's why he lost it. He got attached, got used to the way things were over the past two weeks and most likely didn't even think about the departure my mum would inevitably make when her two weeks was up.

Through his upset I remembered a technique my dad (pictured above) used to use on us and instead of me making animal noises and asking 'what does the doggy/pig/cat/horsey say?' I picked up my photography magazine to the page of a polar bear, made a growl and kept at it until his curiosity brought him to me. It's not that I was trying to stop his upset - if he's upset, it's allowed - but it was a way to calm things down and get his attention onto happier things. Of course it worked. But my heart was breaking from his outburst - I felt to blame or as if I should have done something to stop it from happening - what more could I have done? 

I just wonder when it will stop hurting. That extra sore spot hurt you get when your child is hurting, whether that be emotionally or physically. It's like being hit between the eyes and kicked in the stomach at the same time.

Waterstones, Stirling.

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Roman woke up with a cold. He's had a high-ish temperature for a few days but I overlooked it, as you do, because it didn't worry me.

With it being my mum's last day here we decided to head off to Stirling for the day - Stirling is the smallest city in Scotland - to do a spot of light shopping ;). With Roman being ill this was a tiny bit stressful because he didn't know what he wanted, or when he wanted it. He refused the buggy, refused taking our hands, refused to walk and refused to be held. He threw himself down on the ground a fair few times and at one point just sat on the ground and cried. 

He was fine once we'd stopped off at our local health food shop and bought some grub (food) for him but the time in between was a bit of a nightmare scenario. So many people stared or pointed when Bryan finally put Roman into his buggy - he did not want to go in and kept saying 'Mout! MOUT! MOUT!' (out, out, out.) 

I clenched my fists down by my side and had to remind myself to not give a crap - who are these people, the ones who don't have to cope with this 24/7, how dare they get offended by this. He is my child. I know what I'm doing. Stop staring at me like I'm a monster.

The whole situation was embarrassing. The tears, the screaming and the fact we were trying our best not to lose our minds on the walk to get food for this little toddler who was breaking his heart in his buggy. 

Once he was fed and watered, he was perfectly happy. It was the time in between that was a killer. It's hard when you want to do everything you possibly can to avoid any outbursts all to realise you can't control that. And when you add in the fact he's sick on top of that...well that invites a recipe for disaster.

So, the only shop he found any kind of solace in was Waterstones. Full of books, toys, colouring in and more books it was right up Roman's street (even at that, it got old fast for him.) 

What a sad time for him :(. I've learned a few things today;

1. Never, ever think 'shut up' when I hear a baby/toddler kicking and screaming in a shop. Just feel sorry for the parents.

2. Don't go out shopping with a sick toddler who is choked with the cold. Never again in my life.

Tuesday 21 February 2012

'Eyes.'

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Roman loves glasses, he always has. He also calls them 'eyes' which makes sense because I suppose for some people they are quite literally their eyes.

I think it makes him look rather distinguished if I do say so myself ;).

P.S: we went swimming today. I wish that snapping photos of my toddler was allowed in the leisure centre because he had so much fun in the water. From the many balls to the little flotation device (and being spun round in it!) he loved the whole experience. He's also a little fish - trying to kick those legs and swim with his arms. And yes, my heart did stop every time his head disappeared under the water.

Monday 20 February 2012

Three Years of Love.

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I had wondered how I'd capture today; the 20th of February, our wedding anniversary - and marking three years since we pledged our lives to one another (among the many other promises we've made.)

We made plans to go out tonight. The usual grab a bite to eat, watch a film and in the time I got ready I had my make-up consultant on hand - although at some point he thought it would be a good idea to squirt a whole tub of lip gloss all over his hands and rub hand cream into his hair.

He loves to 'check' people's bags, but especially loves my make-up bag with all its extra goodies to explore. I'll just need to watch him carefully in future ;).

P.S: This is us, three years and several stone (lbs/kgs) ago. 
Me in a dress and B in a skirt ;).
I really felt like a doll that day - with a permanent smile on.
Twue wuve. 


The image quality is so bad because I pulled this from Facebook. My photographer gave us two albums full of photos plus a disc of all the photos...I just thought the disc was somewhere it wasn't and by the time we got back from our anniversary meal tonight well I didn't want to go hunting for it ;).

Sunday 19 February 2012

50 Days of Doubt.

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For the past few days, Roman's expression in this photo is how I've been feeling every time I log into this blog or visit the Facebook page. Discouragement. Stuck on repeat a little. And taking photos is getting very old, very quick for me.

I realise I signed up for a year of this. For better or worse. I'm not going to back down on that because I'm nothing if not stubborn but I also want to do this, it's just beginning to grate on me a little. I don't feel the same way I did when completing my 365 Project. I don't feel the excitement. I don't feel the pleasure. I don't feel the agony and the ecstasy. I just feel the pain of failure, sitting like a stone, heavy on my heart. What I've failed at, I don't know. It's the perfectionist thing. Nothing measures up.

He's so delectable at this age, even through tears and tantrums. I'm trying so hard to understand all the emotions; how they start, where they come from and knowing they'll end. Maybe I feel in over my head a little; maybe I feel my own emotions a little later about his 2nd birthday. My feelings can sometimes take their time to catch up with me. While everyone cries at a funeral I am the supposed pillar of strength, not feeling a thing until a week or two has passed. At a random moment I will begin to feel the little strings on my heart tug tight and I'll try to not let it in. 

Maybe it's that realisation, sweeping in and making it's appearance to the party almost two weeks later. I did wonder why I felt so 'together' when he turned two. I felt nothing about it; just another birthday. And now it's a whole other story. The problem is that I don't know how I feel - I don't want to cry about this, I want to self destruct. 

And that, that is exactly the kind of emotion Roman deals with on a day to day basis. We're the same, but different, me and this boy. We're so care-free, but easily wound up. We laugh at everything and cry when life doesn't go the way we thought it would. We won't make an effort  if it's not worth doing, but we'll give everything a really good try. And we'll be stuck obsessing on one task just to get it right, to perfect it until we're driven crazy with it. And we won't give up.

This is why I won't give up. Because time and his toddler hood will move too quickly and I want proof it actually existed - and I want to show him I gave a crap and that there are others who give a crap, too. That's why I'm continuing on. 

Saturday 18 February 2012

Innocence.

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His independent streak has always been very prominent but there is still this baby-ness to my little boy. I sometimes think; 'is he like other two year olds?' and I follow that up with thinking 'Oh, but there's so much he's doing that most two year old's don't do. Don't worry.'

His speech and diction are very clear for a boy of his age. His awareness startles me at times - he copies everything. He hears a word once and remembers it forever. He'll say words that we haven't even used around the house but that I'm sure he's picked up from outside - he'll randomly tell me what things are and I haven't even told him what they are. He counts to 10 and will count off to 5 using his fingers. 

He's learned a lot of colours this week because he's been allowed let loose with crayons, chalks and paints. Today, when he returned back from the supermarket with a Peppa Pig mask he kept saying 'pink' over and over - at first we thought it was 'pig', but it didn't sound like pig. Then we realised he was pointing to Peppa's skin colour. 'Pink.'

I don't want to predict or write the future here, that's not my job, but I feel like we have the makings of a little brain box on our hands. Maybe I'm wrong, I don't know. But with an intelligent husband who seems to follow the same pattern of learning as Roman it wouldn't be too far fetched to assume Ro Ro might follow the same path.

I don't want to push him into anything, or to 'be' anything but himself. And right now he's a ball of innocence. My two year old who learns something new every single day and me, his mother, who stands by his side and learns even more just by being with him here.

Friday 17 February 2012

Somersaulting Baby.

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Doing somersaults amongst the mess he's created, wearing a cheeky grin and there's me, soaking up these little moments, just observing this little boy and the things he does. 

My little guy. My small boy. My sweet, sweet two year old 'baby.'

Thursday 16 February 2012

Perfect.

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Isn't it wonderful to think that toddlers (for the most part) come with a no-holds barred connection to most human beings? They don't care about your sex, race, religion or political beliefs. They're wonderful little people before they become adults; full of opinions (wrongly or rightly), discrimination, prejudgments and for this little toddler - there is little to no awkwardness once the initial assessing of a person is done.

To me this phase is both perfect and awkward. The constant asserting of independence can be grating, whether that's a little boy refusing his bed, constantly saying 'mout, mout, MOUT!' (out, out, out) when in the buggy or 'want, want!' while begging for lollipops in the kitchen. But there are those perfect moments, like the above, when you want to immediately have 10 babies just to have these moments 10 times over.

Wednesday 15 February 2012

I Looked Out The Window...

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And what did I see?

Popcorn popping on the...

Ro Ro tree?

Okay I didn't look out the window but today 'spring' (spring seems to be springing in Scotland lately with longer, warmer days) brought me such a nice surprise. A stealing toddler right before my eyes. He took more than an armful and it definitely was a treat. A stolen bag of popcorn that tasted so sweet.

I was sitting checking my emails, Roman was very quiet (this should have really been a big clue he was up to no good) and all I could hear was a bag rustling and then suddenly a cheeky face appeared from the corner of the sofa with an over sized bag of popcorn, his little chunky hands full of popcorn and stuffing his mouth very happily - not a care in the world that he'd stolen mine and my mum's stash of popcorn ;).

Oh to be a toddler. When your cute little smile and cheeky attitude gets you off the hook for stealing* food.

*I don't really know if a two year old gets the idea of 'stealing' or property - unless the property is theirs, of course.

Tuesday 14 February 2012

A Day of Love: Valentines Day 2012.

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Valentines Day is something that has always been dear to our little hearts - we celebrate our wedding anniversary close to Valentines Day and it's Roman's birthday a few days before.

My present (a 35mm lens! Yay!) arrived today and right away I fixed it onto my camera and snapped away ;). I love my family; my two boys and the fact that my mum is here, too. It wasn't a day full of fireworks but it was a day like most others; two lovely boys and me together.

It's nice to have a day (or more) of the year set aside for love - not just married people or people in a relationship love but a chance to think about what love is, how it changes you and how it gives you so much room to grow.

Monday 13 February 2012

The Artist.

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Last year my brother (who lives in the States), his lovely wife and my two nephews visited us in our old home. Before they arrived I bought them arty things as gifts (as well as non-vegan chocolate, I must confess. But they are not vegans and it's kind of hard to buy a vegan version of a Milky Way.)

I had bought - and put away - a little art carry case set for my oldest nephew but had stashed it away somewhere very safe. So safe that I couldn't find it until a few days before Roman's 2nd birthday so he was given the art set. 

I came to the conclusion that seeing as though he had the paints, we should probably use them. I'm not ashamed to say that today was the first time I had let him rip with paints and I'm also not shy of saying that it worked out better than I thought it would - I had this fear of him going on a mad spree with a paintbrush and attacking every available space (which he did end up doing, but as we were in the kitchen it was less of a big deal as I could wipe every available surface.)

We don't have an easel for him, but this was easily remedied when I fed the paper pad through the cooker handle ;). 

He had a blast with the paints, kept running back and forth between the living room and kitchen to show my mum his paintbrush and finally the finished masterpiece. Unfortunately once I was all cleaned up with his paints and ready to move onto making gingerbread biscuits with him, he either pulled on or tripped over our lamp cord and it smashed every where - one of those days.

Every time he went into the kitchen (after the floor was mopped and vacuumed about 5 times) he'd point to what was left of the lamp and say 'sozzy.' I hope that despite the lamp incident he had a happy day. My little artist.

P.S: more photos after 'read more' ;). I couldn't help it...

Sunday 12 February 2012

Jee-Su (Jesus.)

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Today was a special day - Sunday. One of Roman's favourite days of the week he gets to play in Nursery, see pictures of Jesus all over the place and he's quite a reverent toddler in general. He knows exactly what to do when a prayer is being said; folding his arms, bowing his sweet little head and closing his eyes tightly. Sometimes he'll say 'amen' mid-prayer, though ;).


We haven't prompted him to do any of this stuff; we pray as a family and he follows that example and the example set at church. He's also been quite taken with pictures of 'Jee-Su' (Jesus) since he was little. I'll never forget the time that Bryan had come back from the temple with a picture of Jesus for Roman's room and each time he saw the picture he would crack up laughing. 


He and Jesus have been pals ever since ;). 

Saturday 11 February 2012

Waiting: Dinner Time.

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If you knew this boy and knew nothing else about him you'd know that he loves food, with a passion. And yes, passion is the correct word. 

He was getting very excited about dinner this evening, not because it was anything special, but because it was food.

Friday 10 February 2012

Woof Woof.

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My sister came to visit today with her dog, Chief, in tow. I think it may have been a case of Roman loving Chief but Chief not necessarily enjoying the extra attention from this little two year old ;).

Roman found the dog fascinating; when he yawned, whined, barked or did something Roman was like a broody parent around a new baby ;).

Thursday 9 February 2012

The Best Two Years.

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The night before his birthday (today, the 9th) I slipped a few blown up balloons into his room - B  wasn't happy because sometimes the noise of opening the door can wake Roman up. Luckily he didn't wake up and even better - he loves balloons.

He kept calling them 'moons' and then 'ball' and spent the most part of today kicking them around ;). We've had a fantastic day. My mum got here yesterday and spent last night helping me put together his cake, make the icing and to direct me in icing it. It's been a good few years since I've worked with butter cream icing (or vegan butter :P) and I'd even forgotten how to make it up so I was beyond thankful for her being here. 

If you want to read more about Roman's 2nd birthday then click 'read more' and enjoy :).

Wednesday 8 February 2012

One More Time.

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Today we went to Stirling to get a few last minute Birthday things - I tied up most of my loose ends at home and work and off we went. My mum was also making her way down from Thurso so we met up with her at the train station and all went home together. 

During the time between meeting up with her and going home me, Ro and B all walked around shops and chilled. We also made our obligatory visit to a popular health food store and bought Roman some dinner, which is what he is stuffing his face with in the photo.

When we got home I was so pleased with his little face - that little boy has always loved his food, that's for sure. I thought today's photo would be a picture of Roman and my mum but I really loved this little cheeky pot staring back at me in the photos. My one year old, one more time and for a few hours longer while he turns into my two year old.

I thought today would be filled with emotions I wouldn't know what to do with, but actually, I'm just so happy to get to these two years without any life altering events or devastating childhood illnesses. Two years seems like a long time, or it used too, until I became a mother. Honestly. It's gone so fast.

I'm sure I'll have a glut of photos to share tomorrow so for now I'll leave you with Roman's birth story, which you can read here.

Tuesday 7 February 2012

Cat.

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Roman is always convinced that there are many cats outside in our garden. Every time he's in our room and the blinds are drawn he'll exclaim; ' CAT!'

As the light was dying this afternoon I took him to the back door, opened it and he wanted to venture outside (where there is a good layer of February frost clinging to the pavement and trees) to play. Of course he's pointing out the invisible cat to me here ;).

I wanted to capture a little portrait of the last snatches of his one year old self - although we've only called him our 'one year old' a handful of times, most of the time Bryan likes to go by the months and I get so confused with that so when I'm put on the spot about his age I just reply that he's one. 

I also have dyslexia (we suspect) and I struggle most with my numbers - for example adding the numbers on this project got really hard when we rolled into February because I couldn't just look at the calendar and go by the day on that. I had to go back and check previous entries - and then check again because I forget numbers very easily.

We'll be very busy tomorrow and I have a feeling his picture will not be him on his own so today, while everything was a chaotic sort of calm, I snapped many pictures of what's left of this one year old. 

Monday 6 February 2012

Boy on a Box.

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We had a knock at the door just as Bryan was heading out this afternoon. "Are you expecting a parcel?" he asked me, knowing full well I might be. But for once I couldn't recall buying anything on-line. Of course no sooner had the question left his lips than it was answered by the delivery man, who was from a large chain store dropping off Roman's (early) birthday present from my mum. Some much needed storage for his room. 

As parents to the most lavished upon little boy ever it's hard to be creative about birthday present ideas - storage ranks pretty highly on 'he needs this for his room, but it's kinda boring.' 

Well, he didn't find it boring ;). He loved the fact it had a 'seat' for him and he loved lifting up the lid and putting it back on again. The box has two compartments so I told Roman 'your plastic things will go in here and your cloth/soft toys go in here' not expecting him to understand a word of what I said. I then later saw him putting a name brand plastic building block into the plastic compartment ;). I don't know if he understands or it's just coincidence but I was impressed either way.

Roman is also mighty curious. He used to love the windows in our old flat because they were quite low and with a toy box propped up against the window he could look out onto the street. Now it's a case of standing up on this new toy box, craning his neck a little and getting a good eyeful from his vantage point of the comings and goings of our neighbours. I think he's very pleased with this gift.

Although he loves to jump off the sofa, while B catches him. Well, today he said, 'jump! jump! jump!' which is usually a way of telling us he wants to jump but not necessarily a precursor to doing so. 

So it was his usual jump chant and all of a sudden he'd leaped off the box, we look round to see a little boy in a heap on the floor - laughing his head off, no less! 

Day one of the box and already it's multi-purpose ;).


Sunday 5 February 2012

Mellow Yellow.

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Today was a strange day of challenges and testing of patience. Today was the day I heard you say the word 'fun' for the first time, although it sounds more like 'bun.' 

You were so hungry. You cried while I ate, kept begging me for drinks and scraps off my plate (I don't like crusts or too much bread.) You ate a huge dinner and then declared a list of foods you'd like to eat; 'cereal.' So off Daddy went to fix you a bowl of cereal. When that was done it was 'go-gart.' Daddy plodded off to get you another yogurt. This was after a good, hearty dinner on top of all these extras you were asking for. With your long legs it's hard to imagine that you'll grow any bigger, but surely with the demands for extra food and the mood swings it's likely we're facing another growth spurt. Mood swings coincide with very little nap-time, it's not your fault.

And let me just say; you're a Daddy's boy. I'm learning to adjust to that, but it still feels like a kick in the guts every time you favour him over me. But there is one sweetness about you at this age; you're a follower. No matter where I stand or walk to in a room, you follow. It's hard to take photos of you doing anything because as soon as I move, you move with me. My precious little shadow. Although it gets kind of awkward when I need to use the loo ;).

I was feeling so very sick this afternoon and really needed to lie down in bed. Before I went I was getting stressed about the washing being dry but un-folded and not yet put away - could I ask B? Yes. But he'd probably do it in 'five minutes' - so I began to fold and put away your clothes. You followed me into your room, made for the books and got quite comfortable in a little corner. You looked so cute that I really wanted to stay and play with you. We blew bubbles, stacked up some books and you did all kinds of poses for me, saying 'cheeeese!' without fail every single time.

Bryan is quite the follower, too ;). Whenever we disappear for a couple of minutes he comes to check on us and ends up staying to play, too. You have a magnetic personality that attracts people to you and it's always been so - you're full of life and sunshine. You're a ball of 'bun.'

You can also tell that we're twenty-something parents because we're still very young at heart and do silly things like pass you out through your window with mum on one side, passing you through the open window and dad on the other ready to catch you and back again in reverse. 

You were smiling so big and laughing so hard at this and kept squealing 'bun! bun! bun!' over and over. I just hope your childhood is fun and not blighted with memories of a sickly mum - you make me feel my 26 years of age, you force the fun out of me and keep my spirits up.

Saturday 4 February 2012

Saturday Mornings in Bed.

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All three of us in one king sized bed on a Saturday morning can get pretty cramped. So me and Roman stay at the top and B stays at the bottom. Roman feasts on mouthfuls of our breakfasts, eating more of it than we do, and Bryan is the appointed DJ, finding classic songs from our childhoods to share with Roman's childhood. 

I know these moments are something to set in stone, they don't last for long and I am once again grateful I can do that with this Project.

Friday 3 February 2012

Little Dude in a Towel.

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Today was a disaster. 

See the bags under his eyes? See the dark shadows? No?

Well...if yesterday was a sleepy day then today was a restless day. Lots of screaming, wailing, gnashing of teeth etc...

As the trains rolled past I thought about sending Roman off on one of them. I'm not sure what his complaint was but by 5pm he kept walking to the living room door, pointing towards his room and saying 'bed.' I was so tempted to just let him go to bed, I'd honestly had enough. 

An early bath was in order and as soon as The Simpsons came on TV all was well, although my head now feels like it's going to explode and I am physically shaking I'm so tired and worn down from today.

I've decided that a little Facebook-free and blog-free weekend is in order. The Internet is a great place, I won't debate that, but there are times where it's absolutely toxic and for this reason I'm taking a break. Besides, I'm pretty much never using Facebook over the weekend - so why use it at all? As for blogging, I love it, but I find myself usually trying to find something on Facebook when I blog, so to remove temptation I'm going to have to take a break with that, too.

As for my 366 Project, it will go on :). I will snap the pictures and upload them to my computer but I will not be posting them on the blog until Monday - I think I just need to take this time to remind myself I'm not a horrible parent and I can keep going. I have no choice, really, but I want to choose happiness. I'll return back in a better mood!

Do you ever feel like you need an Internet break? Have you ever switched off at the weekend? Did you shrivel up and die? :P.

Thursday 2 February 2012

Sleepy Head.

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33/366

Waking up. I'd lifted the quilt off him, he still didn't rouse, so I went to get my camera and this is what waited for me on my return.

It was below freezing today in Scotland so we did what all sensible people do and stayed in doors. And naturally stayed in our PJs until 4pm. If I was less bothered I think we would have stayed in them all day, but a bath was had and we both dressed for what was left of the day.

Roman was tired today - going off to sleep around 1pm and me having to force him awake at 3.35pm. He was burrowed under his blanket and for one horrible moment in time I never want to have again, I thought he'd died. He wasn't moving, I couldn't hear him breathing or snoring and when I rubbed his back he didn't move.

His feet twitched and my worst nightmare died away. He rubbed his eyes and I knew he was fine. So I went off to get my camera. Life paused for one moment and suddenly resumed when everything was okay.

For life going on, being ordinary and average; I am grateful. I'm thankful to twitchy feet. 

Just to be extra sure, I checked him over, and apart from being very sleepy there were no other obvious signs - just a little warm boy in a deep sleep, enjoying it and doing his best not to be disturbed. 

B was also in a deep sleep and didn't hear me shouting on him when our shopping delivery arrived while me and Roman were in the bath ;). Is it hereditary? Maybe so.

Because I need to cheer myself up I have added some bonus pictures to this post - showing just how active he can become a few seconds from being the fluffy headed sleepy boy to the little boy full of beans, running around his room and getting into everything.

Press 'read more' to see them ;).

Wednesday 1 February 2012

My Little Punk.

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32/366

You, Roman, were born and blessed with a head full of hair. You came out of my body with a full mop of the stuff; a reddy blonde mop of hair, to be more exact. Like me, you were a newborn with a killer mohawk. 

I styled this mohawk for our afternoon stroll out together but it suddenly went flat (I'm glad I snapped a few shots before hand) with your head pressed up against the buggy. You're such a styling little dude, with knock out looks to match. I'm going to have to lock you up until you're 31.