Friday, 30 November 2012

O Christmas Tree.


When I asked Ro to pose in front of the tree that we'd spent time decorating and debating on which part of the room it would look best from. Our Christmas tree is one for ants, it's small and it's seen better days but it's part of our traditions and so it stays. 

Every year I've managed to get a picture like this - all three Christmases that I've shared with Roman - but of course none quite like this. I asked him to get into the frame, he obliged but not before removing the top he had on and putting on his rather smart suit jacket.

And for records sake here are the past two Christmases in front of the tree:

Tree (1st xmas)

(This was taken on the run-up to Roman's first Christmas which was by all accounts very tame as Christmases go.)

 Tree (2nd xmas)
Last Christmas (2011.) This picture was actually taken on Christmas Day - the top he's wearing here, and that has been heavily featured throughout my 366 Project this year, was a Christmas present from gran and papa.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

This Is Joy.


Recently I've found myself slowing down on taking photos, on knowing my camera inside out and just enjoying life as it comes. This is extremely painful to do when your whole life has been spent perfecting everything you do. However these days it takes too much time and energy to keep that going and most of the time it's not worth it.

One day, in the future, I hope to have a freshly made bed that a toddler doesn't climb into or bounce all over but until that day comes I'm going to enjoy the simple pleasures, the little joys he finds in bouncing on the bed and the disbelief that I just let him do it ;). Sometimes it's just about letting go and having fun; his and mine.

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

Books and Pee Pee.

Toilet woes.

Using the toilet is a funny life skill. I feel like the whole world and their toddler has grasped this concept meanwhile we're struggling forward with it. Some days he'll run to his room, put on a pair of pants and then happily pee independently without me helping him in any way - this includes him pulling his pants on and off, getting to the potty and then standing up to use it. Then there are days like today.

Today he wanted nothing to do with the toilet or the potty but would loudly proclaim in the middle of us doing something (playing, putting away clothes and the like - always doing it together and nothing heavy so that we could drop everything and run to the bathroom if need be) that he needed to use the toilet for a pee pee. "Quick!" he'd tell me. "I need use toilet, I need to pee pee toilet!" so we'd run through to the bathroom and as soon as he began to climb the red stool he'd tell me he didn't need. Then he'd use the toilet, so long as he had a book, so I collected Peepo from his bedroom and he still didn't want to use the toilet. 

When he wanted to take his book through to another room I told him it was just for the toilet, just for when he needed a pee. Heeding my rules he set it up on the stool, in the bathroom, and read from it there ;).

I keep telling myself through every wet pair of trousers and the many wet pairs of pants that I've washed that we'll 'get there' with the toilet usage...but sometimes I want to cry at how hard this whole thing is in comparison to everything else he's learned. I sometimes think to myself 'tomorrow will be different' and it gets worse or sometimes it's easier but it's never consistent. I don't use shame, fear, anger or discipline when it comes to toilet using and this makes it easier for me and for him, I'm sure of that. If he wets himself I simply say 'let's take you out of these wet clothes!' and once he's stripped? He runs to his room, for another pair of underpants. He's eager, he's showing that he's 'ready' according to all of the books but sometimes it's so much over whelming hard work that I want to hit fast forward three years and pass this phase. I know we'll 'get there' but the space in between now and getting there is tough and oh so draining. 

Tuesday, 27 November 2012



My comment to Bryan on this photo: "It's nice, but I can't edit the brightness in it so I don't think I'll share it." He then encouraged me to share as is and I looked at him like he didn't know me at all - you know the perfectionist crazy person that I am and then I thought to myself; shut up, listen to your husband and share it. 

I'm glad I'm sharing it. It's one of the nicest moments I've witnessed in my life. Roman is at this great (but sometimes terrible) age where he has these moments of pure love for us both. Kisses, cuddles and sweet muffled 'I wuv ooo's' are shared from time to time, sometimes randomly and always well received. And so I'd like to document these moments, these times where it seems the world is on pause and he reaches in for a kiss or a cuddle. I'd also like to share it for Roman's sake, for the times in the future where he feels unloved or unwanted. You are very much loved, very much wanted and very much thought about. If you ever doubt the love your dad has for you; it's right here for you to see in this moment and this photograph. Don't forget it.

Monday, 26 November 2012


This is my table...

While we're out shopping Roman is very considerate of the things around him; he takes things off the shelves with great care (unless I'm not looking for 5 seconds!) and when I tell him to 'put it back to bed' aka back on the shelf he'll do so happily and with great concentration. He loves to be free of the buggy straps and I've noticed there has been a huge shift from this time last year to the present day. One of those tidal changes has been the use of the buggy...basically Roman is escaping out of it more than ever and also getting back into it without any upset (versus last year when once he was free there was a massive frustration and upset about why he had to climb back in once he was out.) 

The buggy is one parenting 'thing' I have no clue about. I have no memories of when I stopped using a buggy as a child, nor can I really use parents around me as a bench mark as none of the parents I know are car-free! I think car-free families go longer with their buggies, but again; I have no idea. By the same token any children I have worked with have been of a clear buggy age (2 or under) or of a school age, way past the buggy I have no idea when we should stop using our buggy. My answer, in my head, goes like this: Never, let's never stop using it and I'm reminded that I sound like I'm growing dependent on it ;)...but I don't care. Viva la buggy. Or at least until he's 4. 2013 will not be the year of being buggy and car free - the two seem incompatible at this stage.

Sunday, 25 November 2012

Hats On.


These pair have a set of (almost) matching hats. Roman's hat is far snazzier, of course, because he's two and that's allowed ;). We were almost out of the door tonight, to go to a church class, when I snapped a few photos for my 366 Project...oh the times I almost forget to take a photo! I'm so glad I got this snap shot of time - where Roman is this small and Bryan towers over him. I'm so sure that give or take a few years down the line that Roman will definitely catch up with Bryan on the height ;).

Saturday, 24 November 2012


Playing 'photographers' with me ;).

Saturday is a special day. It's the day I get to sleep in a lot and be on my own a lot, too. I love Roman, don't get me wrong, but I need time to think my own thoughts as well. I don't have my side of the family close by, I don't have someone I can go to and ask for quick advice and I don't really have any friends here. It's hard when you spend a majority of your week with a two year old who wakes early and protests to a lot of the things you want to do (you know like use the toilet and how dare I take a shower without consulting him first.)

I'm by no means complaining - I chose this life, I agreed to live where I do, I chose to have a child and well he's actually really brilliant but it's still hard. I miss life when it was easier to do things but I can't imagine a Saturday morning without little elbows jagging into the most tender parts of my body (okay...maybe I can and maybe it was wonderful) or a little boy who is so keen and eager to learn everything he sees. A little boy who loves to play a game of photographers with me ;). 

If I had chosen never to have children I wouldn't know the extreme loneliness that comes with parenting at times but I also wouldn't have known the exquisite joy and cuteness that makes up the other bits of the parenting equation. I wouldn't have known Roman, I wouldn't have known what he's capable of doing and making me feel not just as a parent, but towards others and myself.

Friday, 23 November 2012

Toddler Munchies.

Vegan food for Ro.

I can't help but find a sweet satisfaction from children who enjoy their food. Roman has never, ever been 'fussy' about what he eats. He has his likes and dislikes but it's rare when he won't eat at all. 

Today we were out of bread so I thought I'd try spreading peanut butter on to rice cakes...well they didn't go down well. He took one bite, declared them 'ew' and didn't have anything to do with them at all after that. It's funny because he likes peanut butter and rice cakes, but obviously not together ;). My contrary little man.

Thursday, 22 November 2012

For The Bath: Nuby Splish Splash Stacking Cups.


I recently became an official Nuby UK Blogger. If you're wondering what that means here goes: I'm a mum of a two year old boy who is full of adventure, spirit and is a pretty good product tester to boot so Nuby send us out a few products, we try them, fall in love with them or don't and then I'll blog about our experience with the product. I'll always be honest about products as well as listing off pros and cons.

So the first thing I thought I'd write about was the Splish Splash Stacking Cups as Roman loves bath toys - and if you can find me a child that doesn't I'll hand you a cookie or something. I thought I'd pull up a description about this item from the Nuby UK website to explain the details I might miss:

The Nuby Splish Splash bathtime stacking cups teach coordination and development.

5 stacking bath cups are a bathtime classic and provide endless fun.

Your baby (or in my case, toddler) can stack them together, put things inside, and watch the water drain from the bottom of the cup.

In a line.
All in a line (3 of the cups pictured, the other 2 were in the bath): Roman loves to line up his cups.

The cups come in a pack of 5 in an assortment of colours, sizes and patterns. They also have little shapes on the bottom of each cup which is a lovely addition and I have to say Roman has had fun telling me all about the triangles, star, flower and squares at the bottom of his cup ;). He's also enjoyed no end the fact that you can drain water out of the cups and enjoys dumping water onto his head via his cups - I know it's a Nuby Christmas miracle as we've had a somewhat turbulent relationship to water being dumped on his head for some months now.

Green cup.

My perspective on the cups: I think they're brilliant. I really couldn't fault them...except for one thing: the packaging! My aunt has been a nanny for over 20 years and couldn't open the packaging they came in which is frustrating if you don't have a pair of scissors handy. It's also good because it means little people can't easily open the packaging which reminds me of a really embarrassing moment I had in Tesco where Roman managed to get something out of it's packaging in the toy section - and I can safely say you wouldn't have that embarrassment with Nuby products! Ha.

Once they were out there was no stopping Roman. I'm very pleased with these cups; they're built to last seeing as they're made from a very robust BPA free plastic and in our home that's a deal breaker as a toddler has meant things being chucked around an awful lot ;).  

They come in wonderful bright colours, which I adore. Roman is at an age where he tells me everything in detail and he's loved telling me all about the shapes and colours on his cups at bath time. 

So what are the pros and cons? Um well I have to say there aren't any cons apart from the packaging. I can't find fault with the cups design - they are built to last and with parents of toddlers (and heavy handed babies!) in mind and I really, really love the colours of the cups; they are gender neutral, easy on the eye and make bath time very fun. 

Nuby Splish Splash Stacking Cups.

Price: I was surprised to find out these cups were priced at £4.99 for a pack of 5 as I honestly thought they'd retail at a higher price. If you're like me and you know bath toys inside out you'll know they don't come cheap at all and while £4.99 doesn't place these cups on the 'cheap' market they certainly aren't on the 'out of reach' market, either. They'd make a great addition to a little one's stocking at Christmas time or for any little winter babies celebrating birthdays in the next few months :).

Who this toy is suitable for: On the Nuby UK website it states the cups are suitable from 9 months + and I would say that's about right. Roman didn't really get interested in bath toys until he was about 10 months and before he got to that stage we stuck to the odd duck or bath book but now that he know shapes, colours and is getting a little bit water averse these toys are fantastic - they make a great talking point at bath time as we go through the shapes and colours on the cups and hair washing isn't a complete nightmare for me any more - woohoo!

It's actually a really great time to invest in some Nuby gear as they have a few money off sales on at the moment, plus free delivery on orders for this week only - perfect if you're Christmas shopping on-line like I am ;)! Nuby have also added a 'store' feature to their Facebook page which means you don't even have to go off Facebook to buy things - and if you're a self confessed Facebook addict like me this is a win/win scenario ;).

Learning At Home.

Roman train

Maybe it's a little twee of me to say so (even though I've thought this one thoroughly through) but we decided a very long time ago that we'd home school our children. I can still remember questioning Bryan on this, to gauge his response first.

Me to Bryan: "What do you think of home schooling?"

Bryan: "I knew someone who was home schooled and they were a bit strange. If you were going to do it, you'd need to socialise A LOT."

Since then we've discovered a lot more about learning at home/home schooling. We've discovered children who are currently being home schooled, adults who were home schooled and parents who home school/ed. I've also discovered I don't want to do anything other than that, where it's possible. But sometimes I wonder if it's really what I want to sign up for, you know? It's a huge responsibility and while I have the education, intelligence, experience and common sense to back up my choice the responsibility of home schooling my child terrifies me from time to time.

Choo choo

If we were doing what a majority of people do in this area then Roman would be enrolled in nursery right now. I'm not confident of the nurseries in this area so he hasn't been enrolled. It's not mandatory and it's not even expected, it's just what people 'do.' I myself wasn't nursery educated, I went straight to school from home and I feel no negativity from that experience whatsoever. I know I'm me and that I can't simply justify my choices for Roman through my own life experiences but I'd rather have him here, playing and learning, than send him to a nursery with a sub-standard record. I've had various work experiences from nurseries and I can say one thing: what they do at home is no different to what they do in nursery - or rather the tasks I did with the nursery children is really no different to the activities I'm doing with Ro. The only difference seems to be numbers; more children, more adults, more social interaction. Not all of that is good or positive interaction but who wants their child to grow up in a bubble, right?

Well I spend a great deal of time researching various groups we can attend that will provide that social stimulus for Roman and now he's at an age where he can form friendships and have other children around for play times I feel it's important to be out there, making connections socially - for both of us.  

R + R

Today, however, was spent learning various letters and more specifically; the spelling of Roman's name. I tried in vain to get him to copy my r's (I even did a join-the-dots 'r' for him) but he wasn't interested and instead scribbled all over my writing ;). He had a lot more fun - and less frustrations - with the name train my mum bought him when he was a few months old. 

"Arrr," I'd say to him. "Arrrr!" he'd repeat back and so on until I could point at an individual letter and he'd tell me what it was. "And what does that spell?" I'd ask once he'd completed telling me each letter. "ROMAN! ATT'S MA NAME!" he squealed in delight then picked up the 'a' and told me, very happily, "Att's a 'eh'!" Now I know...some kids learn their alphabets before they hit 2 but Roman's strong points seem to be in numbers. He loves telling me the volume of things and he loves to count. We go through numbers every single day and I'm finding that it's improving my cloudy brain - numbers? Not my favourite. I deal better with words.  

Roman loves books, he loves learning about dinosaurs, meerkats, panda bears, he loves visual lessons where he can be very involved and included and he loves to help in everything we do. Today I realised I can let go of my huge fear of educating my child from our home because although it won't be easy and I'm sure I'll get stuff wrong I'm really looking forward to learning, changing and growing by his side. I'm excited.

Wednesday, 21 November 2012

The Day He Wore This To Bed..

Wrong Way Round.

Roman has been frequently dressing himself with great success. But sometimes he'll make these clothes faux pas ;).

Also he's really loving 'Cars' (as in the Disney film) a lot right now. He's only watched the second film once but ever since then he's been hooked on Lighting McQueen - just like my little (or not so little any more) nephew who lives in the States. 


As a side note: I've been indulging him in this one, even though these pictured above PJs are old and from last year, but I don't plan on buying into the Disney franchise if I can help it. Not for any reason other than they over price their low quality items and I'd rather spend my money on something better for Roman but he's had his eye on this Lighting McQueen cushion and I'm not sure whether or not to buy it for a Christmas/birthday present.

I know Disney loving is a phase for a majority of children and for me that's totally fine but I've noticed that I can spend the amount I would on Disney items for something that will 1. look better and 2. wear well with time. These above PJs haven't really lasted well when I compare them with other PJs he's had for the same time and a lot of the Disney toys look cheap and tacky to me - or is that the point? I don't know these days!

Tuesday, 20 November 2012

Red Stool.

Stool Friend.

Sometimes Roman does (or says) the most funniest things. A lot of the time I really want to write down all the funny stuff he says but then I forget about it, or it's not entirely appropriate to share but all of it makes my sides split, honestly.

And when he does silly little things like I've got pictured above I can't help but think to myself, he really is my child. He loves his stool, it's another means of independence for him, and he drags it from room to room for various purposes. Today it was climbing onto the couch and then as a foot rest. I love this little boy and long may he entertain me!

Monday, 19 November 2012

Little Chef.


For a little while now Roman has been asking/begging me to bake 'Peppa Pig' (cakes) with him. Every time we go shopping he'll try to put a cake mix into the basket so today I finally decided enough was enough and we should get our bake on.

Well it was fun this time when most of the time in the past it's been a stress fest - usually he'd want to eat everything edible on sight. This meant trying to keep utensils covered in cake batter away from his mouth as he was mixing up the batter and because me and Bryan have huge germaphobia this is a must - plus it's not good to teach your child these horrible habits never mind my germ aversion. 

This time, however, he's shown me yet again how much he's grown over these past few months, weeks even. He's maturing, his hand to eye co-ordination is improving, his grip is fantastic and following instructions? He is wonderful at that. I'll ask him to take something to the bin and immediately he's on the case, I'll show him how to mix something up and he'll do it exactly the way I showed him...and he's frequently in our fridge retrieving and then putting back whatever we need to make cakes, breakfast, lunch and so on. Tonight I asked him to get the, 'icing stuff, with the red lid' and he knew exactly what I was talking about - I'm guessing because I mentioned red in my instructions - but sometimes I feel like I'm living with a 5 year old instead of this 2 year old who stands before me, mixing up cakes and soaking in everything that goes on around him.

I'm so full of thanks for him, for every day we have, for the little things and for the things he learns. 

Sunday, 18 November 2012



I really have no idea what goes on inside his head at times ;). Today was a sleepy day, like most Sundays are around here, and so me and Bryan mostly just sat back and watched Roman from the comfort of our couch. We laughed ourselves silly when he began to fill up his toy cup with water and then spooned it out, declaring it was 'mec-ci-cine' (medicine) and that it was 'yummy.' 

Saturday, 17 November 2012



Trying very hard not to do what we're asking of him and fresh from a bath. I love this boy so, so much.

Friday, 16 November 2012



Welcome to 2012: where we think technology can't go anywhere else but here. Where father and son are engrossed in a game of Star Wars Angry Birds on the tablet - a bewitching device that holds her audience captive and suspends the male of the species in a strange state; unable to hear the female of the species telling them it's bedtime ;).

Thursday, 15 November 2012

New Pyjamas.


The effects of staying up late and adventuring took their toll on Ro today. He woke up later than usual and had a very, very long nap that I was very, very grateful of as I was so tired my eyes kept slipping closed. When he woke we went to the shops, where we bought these new pyjamas. You see something strange has been happening over these past few weeks...this toddler boy is stretching, growing and changing. And also; picking his nose a lot.

But nose picking aside, he's growing. He's growing a lot. In ways I haven't witnessed since babyhood, in fact, and a lot of his cute little toddler outfits are having to be tucked away into piles of 'keep this someday for a future, hypothetical, non-existent sibling' and 'charity.' I'm not complaining of course, I'm quite happy to clothes shop for my little man and he oddly enough enjoys it, too; along with posing in new clothes, trying them on, selecting the things he wants and putting the outfits together.

"Go over there and we'll get a picture of you," I told him and he was quite happy to oblige.  Little did he know that he'd be forever immortalised picking his nose in his new pyjamas ;).

Wednesday, 14 November 2012

Feeding Ducks and Falling Asleep.


Yesterday (Tuesday) we went to see my sister, who lives in Glasgow. Putting Roman to bed on Tuesday night, in her bedroom, on a little fold-out bed he looked at me with pleading eyes not to leave him so I said I would sit with him until he fell asleep. With this knowledge he hunkered down to sleep, Alexsandr tucked under his arm. A few moments later my sisters dog Chief found his way into the room and an idea struck me.

"Would you like Chief to stay with you until you fall asleep?" I asked Roman. He thought about this for a few seconds and then was waving bye to me - and my sister, who was lying on her bed to see if Roman would settle on the fold out - and making a space where Chief could lie at his feet. "Night, night mummy," Roman said to me while the dog settled in quite nicely beside his toddler companion. Not ten minutes later Chief joined us in the living room and I leapt to my feet...Roman would be sure to be upset that his friend had upped and left him in a dark room but as I approached the bedroom I heard gentle snoring floating out of the crack in the door. I love you Chief, I thought to myself and made a mental note to buy him a nice dog biscuit for his services rendered. 

With Roman asleep me and my sister stayed up until goodness knows when talking, laughing and playing catch up with one another. When we decided to head to bed, so did Chief. As we were brushing our teeth he managed to open the bedroom door and try to settle in beside Roman. His settling inadvertently caused Roman to wake and I rushed to be with the boy who was shouting out "I scared! I scared of scaries mummy!". It took me about an hour, moving into the living room, an incident involving my face being mistakenly associated with 'scaries' and then attacked and trying to settle Roman into a variety of sleeping positions on the bed; him sleeping on top of me worked for the most part but he kept jolting awake asking for me, despite you know being right on top of me ;). I'd already taken off his pyjamas because he was very warm sleeping between me and my sister so I decided to put him on my right side, where the cold air could circulate around him and aide his falling asleep. 

This worked really well as he fell asleep right away and didn't wake for several hours - me, on the other hand, well I woke every now and then and found myself 'checking' him. I remember doing this when Roman co-slept with me and Bryan as a baby. Looking down on that sleeping toddler in the crook of my arm stirred up some wonderful baby Roman memories for me and reminded me that although he is such a growing boy these days...he needs me, he needs us; his parents, his family and other adults to look after him. He relies on us for his safety, his protection and for us to remind him everything is going to be okay. 

Later on, when we woke one after the other, we climbed out of bed and ate cereal. Roman stuck to my side an awful lot and wouldn't eat much until I put him on my lap and we ate together. When I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, he wanted to be there. When I took a shower, he kept running into the bathroom to check on me. Despite him being utterly wiped out he didn't fall asleep until we got home but not before we went to the park, fed the ducks and got on two trains to get home. Before we got home he fell asleep in his buggy, where we left him to sleep until it hit 5.20pm and Bryan lifted our sleeping boy onto the sofa where he slept until 5.40pm!

Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Two Aunts.


Roman with two of his aunts, on a Tuesday night unlike others. Nothing spectacular happened today, but it was wonderful because it was spent with them.

Monday, 12 November 2012

Family of Vegans.


A few years ago, when I was still a teenager and of course (in my head at least) a total rebel I decided to make the move towards a vegan diet. At the time of making the decision there was someone special in my life that I wanted to share everything with, including veganism, so I proposed that we should 'try going full vegan' rather than just dabbling in it. At the time I truly did believe one or both of us would give up on veganism if we ever ended our relationship but although the relationship did end, I didn't stray from veganism and I'm happy that now I have various special people in my life that I get to share veganism with two of the most special people in my life.

I'm happy that Roman gets the joys of slurping down the dregs of a chocolate soya milk, that I can teach and share my views with my healthy, thriving, smart little man and my strong, wonderful and very healthy husband. I know these days it's fast becoming the norm, or at least normalised, and I'm happy with that. We're happy, healthy and thriving.

Sunday, 11 November 2012

Puffy Eyed And Sleepy.


With Saturday fully booked by both sets of grandparents - one in the morning, another in the afternoon - a nap was missed leading to over-sleeping after church today. To be exact it was after 4pm when Bryan retrieved a sleeping Roman from his bed and he came to me like this; with the sleepy snarl and puffy eyes. He was quickly placed onto the couch next to me and handed a (vegan) donut and seemed to perk up fast - I wonder why? ;).

Saturday, 10 November 2012



Bubba is one of Roman's nicknames that I use with an increasing frequency and of course with total endearment. He is my bubba, my bub, my baby and I love reminding myself of the fact on a daily basis apparently ;). He's even started to call himself 'bubba' or 'bubs' an awful lot, too. With that said it's also no secret that time means he grows, that time takes him further away from actually being a baby and lately I've been feeling that pull. 

He'll be three in February. Three. I sometimes can't believe it's been three whole years since I held newborn Roman in my arms for the first time and often I think about that time, how I feel somewhat robbed of it as there wasn't large portions of time where it was just me and he. I couldn't physically deal with my newborn, everything that demanded me physically took its toll on my body and so we relied a lot on Bryan. Bryan became two parents rolled into one and quite frankly I sometimes can't get over that. Let me go back, I could fix it, I sometimes tell myself and then I remember that nothing would change, that it would still be the way it was and the options would also remain the same. 

I also feel that I didn't materially prepare for Roman's arrival. We were extremely scraping around for cash in the run-up to his birth so I didn't manage to baby shop ever. I remember feeling so much pressure to buy things for this baby but when I thought about what we needed? I couldn't have made a list or written down material things we'd need because every time I did it was a huge reminder of all the things he'd never have. I felt guilty and I felt trapped in bad circumstance so I just ignored it and willed it to go away. As these things go there was a lot of help from many sources and in the two weeks before Ro was born everything material that we needed littered our living room and his room. 

I feel bad that I wasn't more excited for his arrival but I was too focused on how scared I was of the whole process to enjoy any minute of it and sometimes I wish that I could do it again, or that I could have the experience back to appreciate it. I also wish for that new baby from time to time. 

But that new baby I once knew is growing, changing and developing into this wonderful toddler that I love so much that it has changed everything about me for the better. Even on days like today where he cries no matter what I do or say and then falls asleep after a massive emotional upset, allowing me to shop in relative peace without worrying about rushing home for bedtime or hurrying things along so I don't stress other shoppers out with my sons crying and shouting. Even on days like today where I'm reminded; he was once my baby and I shouldn't forget it. Even on days like today where I felt a little far away from what I should be feeling as his mother. Even on days like today where I could have thrown every angry, vicious and ugly thought out there on to him but instead I chose kindness because I remembered: he's my baby and he always will be.

Friday, 9 November 2012

My Family.


The time came for Bryan to be the 26 year old today. I've known him since he was 18 years old; I've seen him change, grow and mature. I've watched him prepare and then head off on a mission. When he came back, two years later, it was all I could think about. My best friend was home and I decided to come home, back to Scotland, to be with him forever. Little did I know that it wouldn't just be him I'd get in that bargain but I'd also gain a son. 

So today I'm grateful for the choices Bryan helped me make in being with him, in having our family because without him there would be no Roman to celebrate and certainly not a 26th birthday today to celebrate, in our home, the one we made together.

And without Roman I wouldn't have known this funny little person, a true personality ;).

Thursday, 8 November 2012

'I Do It!'


Increasingly there is one phrase I've been hearing a lot of: 'I do it.' 

I put on his clothes and I hear it, I try to put on my clothes and I hear it, I make breakfast and I hear it and since my aunt has been and gone I've also been hearing it every time I attempt to do the dishes. 

"I do it, mummy, I do dishes. Get mah stool and I do it!" Okay, Roman, you do it and I'll stand here and not put up a fight. Surprisingly he did a rather decent job with washing up and after telling him once where things went to dry the concept of washing and drying seemed to sink in, too. In these moments I really love this age; the age where your child aims to learn everything you do for them, the age of independence that can sometimes be fraught with big servings of frustration...but at least for this morning Roman could do it and he gently reminded me that I need to stand back and just be more often.

Wednesday, 7 November 2012

Ro Ro Style: Part Two.


Roman frequently dresses himself. He'll choose odd socks, two (sometimes five) pairs of pants, shoes and nothing else to wear if he can get away with it but mostly he's actually got a great sense of style, of what he feels comfortable wearing and he just happens to look good wearing it.

I try my hardest not to get annoyed or frustrated when he does silly things with the choices he layering up the pants he'll wear and then not being able to get them off in time and peeing in all five pairs of pants (underpants.) I let him have the freedom of choice and of dressing himself. Next on the list for clothes and style will be Roman choosing his own clothes and I can't imagine it; but nor could I picture the day he'd be laying the law down on what he wore and then slipping into all his outfits so expertly. 

Tuesday, 6 November 2012



He's always a slippery fish at bath time, but especially at the end of bath time. He'll try his best to avoid my open arms with the towel draped over them. "NO! No want get out!" he'll shout, very loudly but playfully, as I try to tempt him out of the bath. Pulling the plug and offering up tooth brushing to Roman (one of his favourite things to do) doesn't do the trick and all he wants to do is be in the bath forever more.

Quickly he recovers, running to the mirror and greeting the cute face who captures his glance there. Many kisses are shared between Roman and his reflection, many sweet nothings are also shared and I have to laugh at this meeting of the two. Of course capturing it on camera is strictly prohibited and he throws me this look to remind me that there are some things which should remain sacred ;).

Also I was very tempted to crop out the mess of this place...but this is life so it stays.

Monday, 5 November 2012

Off To Bed.


Photo: Monday, pre-bedtime. 

Another day passes too quickly, another night will pass and give way to the morning; giving me this boy another day older and another day nearer to the future he'll grow into and I'm sure that if I blink I'll miss it all. Little boy when I look at you like this I can't believe you won't stay little.

Sunday, 4 November 2012

How Long is a Piece of String?


Today was a sleepy kind of day. Like always I woke with the rising bodies (Bryan's, Roman's and my aunts) and couldn't get back to sleep even after they'd all left for church (bad stomach cramps.) When they all got back home, we were all exhausted. Roman went for a nap, my aunt went for a nap on the sofa and B and me sat in bed watching Netflix. When Ro woke up he kept bouncing from the living room and our bedroom, picking up 'treasures' on his journeys, this piece of thread being his main source of enjoyment and entertainment; it was a hat, a scarf and a snake. Oh his imagination is a wonderful thing!

Saturday, 3 November 2012

Off and Away.


Roman got to wear his pumpkin outfit outside one last time this year when Bryan took Roman over to see gran and papa. I've been lacking on picture taking this week; remembering at silly points in the day, usually when we're heading out or right before bed and this photo is a product of that. With all in that in mind I'm quite glad of this photo, of this time Roman is suspended in. Life has become 'harder' (emotionally and physically) over these past few weeks but with it, it's also become sweeter. 

I know that next year I'll notice a massive change in Ro. Maybe those rounded cheeks he sports will be less rounded, the open mouthed baby gawk will be replaced with a self-assured cheeky boy grin but I know that those eyes will always be those eyes.

Friday, 2 November 2012



Today was a disaster.

Roman was trying to be 'helpful' by changing his nappy in bed and then throwing it down on the floor, closely followed by his favourite meerkat toy (who happened to land face down in the nappy. Oh that poor Aleksandr.) 

Getting him out of nappies full time is long overdue and he was gently reminding us of the fact this afternoon, I'm sure. 

Thursday, 1 November 2012

'Monster eating rice cake!'


Roman has a new snack pot that I thought we'd try out today on the go and as soon as it was in his hands he was in love with it. I filled it with apricots, which he wolfed down very happily and while we were out I filled it with rice cakes. He was a bit strange with the rice cakes so I pretended the monster was eating them. 

"Monster eating rice cake," Roman told me, stuffing one of the rice cakes between the monsters 'teeth.' I think he's quite smitten with this little snack pot ;).