Life. Long Hair. Crisps For Dinner.

At the start of this year I was determined to be a healthier person and I think I've come close to getting there when I think of the opposition this year has also thrown at me. I've battled with countless inner wars about the way I look, the way I speak, things I do (or do not do) and just generally fitting into too many moulds that made me unhappy. 

So what does 'healthier' mean, exactly? Does it mean allowing your child to eat prawn cocktail crisps as part of a meal? Um well sometimes it happens. I think healthier means 'letting go.' Letting go of ideas of what perfect means and letting go of bad thoughts, habits and patterns of thinking. This includes being negative about my body around my child. I'm selective about the kind of language I use around him. He's a child, he doesn't see 'ugly', he doesn't see 'tired', he doesn't see 'fat thighs, bum, hips...' and so on. He only sees what we teach him to see right now. 

There are particular sore points of my body I'm sensitive on but since having my child I've lost (and am losing) my hang ups. Why? Because his future is more important than my present choices - if I think one part of me is bigger than it should be, why wouldn't I do something about it? Yes I'm still sensitive to remarks and comments that revolve around my body, any woman's body, because the way the world is set up to view women's bodies is ridiculous and I don't want a part in being a negative voice to back all of this nonsense up...but I'm less hung up on it. The comments don't hurt so much because I see they are mostly untrue, unfounded, unwelcome and quite frankly; so what? If I'm happy with the progress I've made and I'm making, that's all that matters.

With all of this in mind I asked Bryan to take our photo - a photo to cherish and remember, a photo that will be printed and put into a photo book of memories and no doubt viewed by a lot of people. A photo that I hope, in time, will be one I look fondly back on and treasure for the time we spent together, for the love we felt for each other and for the two people in the photo who don't judge each one another on how they look. A photo, the first of many I hope, that I didn't judge myself on.

Two Aunts.

Roman with two of his aunts, on a Tuesday night unlike others. Nothing spectacular happened today, but it was wonderful because it was spent with them.

Ungle Fraser.

Roman's 'ungle' Fraser is here. Every time we ask Roman where his uncle is, he pinches his nose (my brother was biten on the nose by my parents dog, Shadow) and laughs. And when I tried to give Roman a cuddle this morning? "Want ungle Fraser!" he said and then not long after darted off to the living room to avoid being cuddled by me.

Shadow/Chiefly

My sister got a dog and called him Chief (Captain Chief Crunchie is his long name, would you believe) in 2008 and he's been a very happy part of my extended family since then. Roman loves Chief but I don't know if Chief loves Roman in the same way ;). Unrequited doggy love, what can you do?

And Roman calls all dogs 'Shadow' after my parents dog but cats, they are just cats ;). After a little time together Roman would shout after Chief saying, "SHADOW! CHIEFY!" and it's very safe to say this boy loves his animals.

Boots.

My aunt, Roman's great aunt, visited us for two days and went home yesterday. She spoils us with her time and generosity. She bought Roman the loveliest pair of rain boots (much needed in Scotland) with his favourite things, dinosaurs, on them. He loves his boots and has perfected slipping them on and off very expertly. As soon as he was dressed today he slipped these back on, after running about with a nappy and his boots on in the morning, and kept telling us he wanted to go outside.

He was very happy to be outside, with his boots on. And then to top it all off the sun was out and a train rode past when we were in the garden. 

Roman waving bye bye to the train as it passed.

Good Friday.

97/366

I forgot that today was Good Friday.

Just as well my aunt was here to remind me and to dress Roman for bed.

Happy Easter, everyone! :).