Funny Faces.

In contrast to yesterday's photo I present to you this funny little face :). Because our bathroom light remains to be fixed (we've been busy, I've been too short and too sick to fix it myself) Roman has a bath in the mornings, instead of at night. Right after his bath he begged for his dressing gown, several cereal bars and then to 'cheese' (bringing me my camera so he could pose for me) for me. My funny little boy ;).

A Bed.

When it came to getting his bed I honestly believed he'd be 'okay' for one at about 18 months but every time I would pray about it I felt like it wasn't a good time, or that we needed to get through other phases first before introducing such a huge change. When he turned 2 I kept thinking 'we should get him a bed' but again the cot stayed. He was happy to stay in the cot, we were happy to have him in it. A few months ago me and Bryan were talking about Christmas and we decided that if we were getting any money at Christmas that we'd save it up and buy Roman a bed - a really nice, sturdy bed with a 'good' mattress.

Well a few weeks later Bryan got a call from a friend asking if he'd like to buy a hardly used bed from him at a very decent price. When the bed arrived I was surprised with how new it really looked and how sturdy it was. We just had to buy a mattress. When I visited my sister I told them all about Roman's new bed and my aunt offered to buy the mattress for Roman's Christmas. Brilliant. I was very happy she bought him a really great mattress that arrived today - I set it up myself and Roman bounced all over his new bed. He's pleased with it and so are we. And I'm also beyond glad we waited until now to do this because there is no strangeness around this for him; he was outgrowing the cot and couldn't properly stretch out so I think he's happy to finally have his own comfortable sleeping spot.

Brave.

Today: home from church, straight into bed, nap until 5.30pm (wow!) and then up for dinner and to watch Brave for the first time. Three cheers of approval on that film and for the first time ever Roman sat and watched a whole film from start to finish.

New Pyjamas.

The effects of staying up late and adventuring took their toll on Ro today. He woke up later than usual and had a very, very long nap that I was very, very grateful of as I was so tired my eyes kept slipping closed. When he woke we went to the shops, where we bought these new pyjamas. You see something strange has been happening over these past few weeks...this toddler boy is stretching, growing and changing. And also; picking his nose a lot.

But nose picking aside, he's growing. He's growing a lot. In ways I haven't witnessed since babyhood, in fact, and a lot of his cute little toddler outfits are having to be tucked away into piles of 'keep this someday for a future, hypothetical, non-existent sibling' and 'charity.' I'm not complaining of course, I'm quite happy to clothes shop for my little man and he oddly enough enjoys it, too; along with posing in new clothes, trying them on, selecting the things he wants and putting the outfits together.

"Go over there and we'll get a picture of you," I told him and he was quite happy to oblige.  Little did he know that he'd be forever immortalised picking his nose in his new pyjamas ;).

Doggies Juica.

My funny little man, who was bottle fed expressed milk a handful of times, feeding his doggy some 'juica' from the bottle...and yep he's been known to lift up his tops and try to feed them 'nilk' a few times, too ;). 

I've been noticing that lately Roman has become so much more caring (minus the few sharing issues he has with other children) and nurturing. I also like to think this is because I let him be whatever he wants to be, as much as I can. I don't tell him to stop behaving certain ways unless he's being aggressive and even then it's a mostly gentle approach where things are explained. If he wants to put on my clothes or run around naked...I let him. If he wants to parade around with my handbags on shoulder, that's fine by me too. I never tell him to stop behaving like a little girl or a 'jessie' - I hate that word so much. And anyway: what's wrong with behaving like a girl? Girls are pretty wonderful, actually. 

I've talked at length about my methods to dealing with upset children and gentleness, with a big helping of patience, is the one sure fire method of navigating the emotions of children. They need time, a lot of it. They need our presence, our touch, our reassurance and sometimes everything has to be put on hold so we can give it. Bryan falls naturally into the patterns and heart beat of my desires regarding this and that makes me happy. To know that not only Roman is being shaped and moved by the method I choose to practise but that my husband is, too and it reminds me of one thing: he needs the same things, too. I'm trying so hard but it sometimes feels easier to raise my voice in defence or snap back something cheeky to him...but for the sake of Roman, for the sake of him keeping the gentle balance in this household I know I need to try harder.

One day, when my son is grown, I want him to keep this gentle and nurturing side. And I want the influence to have been through our example and teachings. I know we can do it.

Conversationalist.

Talking to me about cameras. I love this boy in a way that I can't describe and I'm sure I've never felt before because this love, these moments, it's motherhood in the making.

A History of Undressing.

From about 5-6 months Roman began undressing himself and I have to confess as a parent one of the things I was dreading was being encouraging about my child dressing and undressing themselves - most of the children I've known and worked with hated dressing and undressing themselves and teaching this basic skill to them has always been a nightmare. 

With Roman he started early; beginning with disliking socks or shoes on his feet and learning to eventually wriggle out of them by 2-3 months. At 5-6 months he was pulling tops over his head. At 10 months I began to give him the freedom of dressing himself, selecting his clothes and leaving him to his own devices. It didn't always work out perfectly and some assistance was often required...but still out went the awkward phase of 'you need to do this basic thing for yourself, I can't dress you when you're 18!' and I was glad.

Today I began to develop a very sore throat and pounding head ache and was very grateful Bryan has the rest of the week off. Then he went off with the missionaries tonight! We did okay and I was so, so, so very grateful that Roman could undress himself...although he did leave that vest sitting on top of his head and told me it was his new hat ;). 

Caleb.

Today Bryan was helping his sister move house and in place of Bryan I got Caleb - a cute 4 month old kitten that loves to cuddle - for the day. My day was then spent trying to keep these two at a reasonable distance from each other as Roman is still at the stage of rib squishing and tail pulling these cute little critters.

"CALEB! CALEB!" he'd say, chasing him all over the house. When Caleb ducked behind the sofa Roman was quick to scold the little cat. "Caleb, you come out there now! Get down, naughty cat!"

Gig-ness Card.

Used tickets, small cards, library cards and bank cards are all gig-ness (business) cards to Roman. He's quite fascinated by them, in fact and if you take the business card from him before he hands it to you? He'll be very annoyed.

No Photos!

Roman to me: "NO PHOTOS!"

Me (snapping away): "Just a few, wee man."

Roman: "NOOOOO! NO FEW!"

Sorry, Roman...but I kind of had too. It was half an hour away from bed time and I hadn't taken my photo for the day. I can't give you a 366 Project book with a missing photo now, can I? I'm sorry, it felt a bit mean but for records sake I had to take a few photos. Before this you were turning away and covering up your face with your arm :(. 

This is the first time in the history of Roman that this has ever happened and I think it's down to this stupid cold he can't seem to shake. I put my camera away as soon as I got this photo, I promise!

Car Seat.

Neither Bryan or me own a driving licence and sometimes it's awful...but mostly it's great because we save money. Whenever the car seat is borrowed from Bryan's parents (who live a street away) Roman takes an opportunity to get excited about it. The car seat means he's going somewhere, after all, and at two years old that's something to get excited about.

The trouble is that he wasn't going anywhere ;). In fact when I snapped this photo me and Bryan were the ones heading out.

Ungle Fraser.

Roman's 'ungle' Fraser is here. Every time we ask Roman where his uncle is, he pinches his nose (my brother was biten on the nose by my parents dog, Shadow) and laughs. And when I tried to give Roman a cuddle this morning? "Want ungle Fraser!" he said and then not long after darted off to the living room to avoid being cuddled by me.

Homework.

Bryan is doing very well at college, but Roman does miss him now that he see's less of his much loved dada. He's dealt with the change very well; he doesn't break down in tears or sad emotions when Bryan leaves or when he realises he's gone (unlike Bryan's first day at college) and I feel closer to Roman; I feel like I'm getting to really see him grow up and be a part of it. I thought that seeing less of Bryan would be hard and the thought of him going to college daunted me...but we're doing okay :). 

I have always felt on a somewhat uneven keel when it comes to motherhood; I can't handle the noise of children, the smells they bring, the things they do that drive me crazy and I let all the little things eat at me until I want to scream. I don't always do or say the right things and it seems to take me double the time than it does for Bryan to get things done. But we're doing okay. We're getting stuff done, we're having fun and I'm letting go of all those little things that drive me crazy. And Roman? He's benefiting from it all. Bryan is happier, there is always a fresh topic of conversation every time he comes in the door, there is a thirst for knowledge and at the end of all this he'll have better opportunities. Knowledge is everything. And I hope Roman is learning from this example in his life.

Solidarity.

As a sign of solidarity Roman decided he'd join me on my plan to eat healthier. Every time I open up a sugar free jelly he rushes to my feet, eyelashes fluttering and mouth wide open ready to receive his share ;). And how can I say no?

Monday.

Monday: another day. People wake up early, go about their business and life goes on for one more day. And when I wake up and know that, know that I have today, I feel so blessed in that knowledge. Knowing that my legs will carry me, that my hands might grow tired and my lids will definitely get heavier as the day pulls me along but that I have this day, with this boy and this time won't last forever. One day this toddler will be a boy, who will grow into a man, and all I will have are these memories of this day. 

This day where I was jolted awake by a sense that today had started and that I needed to be awake; up with the birds and the rain that was trying to get inside my window. A few extra hours in time that I never have with Roman as he was ready to start the day, too. A few extra hours that I will one day want to claw back. A few extra hours where I tried not to wish I was back in bed, but tried to just soak up. A few extra hours that were ours, mine, his.  A few extra hours where I tried to keep a smile on my face and frustration out of my tone. A few extra hours to think about life and our future; ours, mine and his.

And because of these extra hours he woke up very happy this afternoon, ready to face the rest of the day, and suddenly became very sleepy. A baby on my lap, sucking on those two favourite fingers and me; kissing that sweet head repeatedly. The only thing that would make this moment sweeter would be if Bryan walked down the street...and before I got to the end of my tangent Roman whispered, "daddy" under his breath. One look out the window confirmed that my wish had been granted. In that moment we were full up on love and completely united.

Sometimes I really like Mondays.

Sleepy Head.

It's been a sleepy past few days. Naps and longer bed time sleeps - thank goodness. I love you Roman but sometimes you're so very tired and fed up with it that it drives me to feeling like I can't do anything for you but put you down for a sleep.

Sleep for you is magical at times. I get an over tired cranky boy who goes to sleep, waking up quite happy and very talkative. Or sometimes a little artist who will want to paint or draw for ages. And sleep, well you can't seem to do it without your little friend Deacon (pictured in your Vulcan grip above) who you've had since babyhood.

You (3 weeks and a bit old) and a plumper, fresher looking Deacon. 

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P.S Bryan will be taking over the photos for the next few days because I am burnt out and sick. Normal blogging and picture taking service will resume shortly :). 

Stuck On You.

Lately I've found myself not 'looking' for chances to get photographs - there are so many missed moments for photographs; the seemingly 'perfect' picture taking opportunities crop up but would come off as a set up. Plus every mother might know by now that our children have inbuilt sensors to pick up on when we don't have a camera around and they take this chance to do back-flips/somersaults through rings of fire in the interim of grabbing our cameras ;).

Today, however, I felt quite proud of myself for documenting this blurry moment where Roman covered Bryan's hand in stickers. He doesn't stick to tasks for very long, maybe 3-5 minutes per task on a good day, so I was surprised when he was happy putting stickers on every surface (human and couch) he could manage. Roman's apparent neglect of my need to keep surfaces sticker-free and you know, clean, just showed me that I can either be a good mother or a perfect housekeeper and as babies don't keep I chose good motherhood as my path. I'll see the clean house in 20 or so years time I'm sure! 

Boots.

My aunt, Roman's great aunt, visited us for two days and went home yesterday. She spoils us with her time and generosity. She bought Roman the loveliest pair of rain boots (much needed in Scotland) with his favourite things, dinosaurs, on them. He loves his boots and has perfected slipping them on and off very expertly. As soon as he was dressed today he slipped these back on, after running about with a nappy and his boots on in the morning, and kept telling us he wanted to go outside.

He was very happy to be outside, with his boots on. And then to top it all off the sun was out and a train rode past when we were in the garden. 

Roman waving bye bye to the train as it passed.