Thursday, 17 March 2011

Take a break, take a vegan Kit Kat.

{Image: from my Mum's camera.}

We're having a little break - something I have heard Americans call a 'mental health holiday.' 

I don't know if vegan Kit Kats exist - or if I would even like them. I didn't really like Kit Kats (I was more of a Kit Kat Chunky follower.)

I've been doing less writing and thinking these days because for every day for a year I have been a little pre-occupied raising a child, taking his photo, editing said photo, doing a little blurb of what we did that day and everything else in between; working from home on a new business and finding out I have an incurable illness (the last part is my least favourite, everything else has been great.)

I have been feeling this weird pull to visit all my favourite blogs and leave at least one comment, to visit friend's Facebook profiles, trawl through their photos and leave comments, to try to reconnect with friends I have lost touch with and I haven't done any of that! 

No reading of blogs, no comments made, no Facebook stalking (my favourite waste of time) and so far no reconnection's with friends have been made. Worst of all I haven't called family members I said in my head I would call - where have the days gone since Saturday? 

I feel free from the 365 Project and I've taken this weird break from it all - it's been great not having to take a photo every day and then the process of all that, it's truly felt like a millstone has been taken off from around my neck.

The downside is that I haven't 'got round' to all the things I would do with the sparse spare time I have - I know every one reading this entry will be in the same boat.

It's so funny but when I was studying I used to think I had no time off to do anything, to enjoy my life and it was made even worse when I was working at the same time. I was a full-time employee and a full-time student who was mysteriously ill constantly - and I still managed to squeeze in time with friends and some of my own down time (I must have either been really organised or the worst student in the World.)

It's funny how we go through these different phases in our lives; when we're children being asked to do dishes feels like the biggest injustice in the World, when we're teenagers our parents are trying to control and ruin our lives, when we're not quite adults we're overwhelmed with the sudden onset of responsibility and what it truly means and then we're parents and...well, although it's fabulous, it's a lifetime commitment and guarantees that you have to plan every hour of every day very well in order to get every task done that needs doing - this will never happen 100% of the time and if you're lucky and very well organised might happen about 40% of the time.

When Roman goes to bed it's nice, but it also feels weird. When he sleeps, I blog. 

I remember the days when he first went to bed; I would fill my time doing the frivolous things I wished I could have done in the first five months of his life. Read a book. Check my emails. Take a bath/shower for more than two minutes. Debate with people on Facebook on politics. Watch several documentaries about Lagos. 

So I did those things. Then I got fed up.

My rest and relaxation period felt strange because I had been deprived of it for a little while.

And right now I'm feeling a little like that without the 365 Project.

Don't get me wrong, there's never a dull moment and I always have a project on the go.  I am never bored and even if people don't have projects on the go, being a parent is a full-time calling, it is mentally, emotionally and physically consuming.

Over the next few weeks I have decided to commit to another (less demanding) photographic project. I'm still working out what I want that to be, but I want to keep my hand in on the things I've learned in the year of 365. 

I haven't set a date nor have I firmly decided what I want the next project to be about because I think it's important to take a mental break after a big project - it's important to stop and smell the roses in life.

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