Return of the Jedi.

I'm making a return to blogging tomorrow. It's not quite a week since I said I was taking a break but I've felt it was 'long enough.' Long enough to leave my 366 Project - and my mum - lying in wait. 


I've added a few new things to the blog: 


1. Side pages. Just a few pages to go over some of the things I am asked quite often but don't always reply too - whoops, sorry, at least the pages make up for it, right?


2. Header description. In other words; some text in with the header to 'describe' the blog. I felt that 'Life. Photos. Food.' wrapped things up pretty nicely around here. Life, my life, my trials, my lessons learned; it's what I share. Photos, again this is obvious and while I might not be the best or the kind of photographer I want to be...I share my photos. Food, well it's my other passion in life. I hope to share more because lately my life has been all about fresh, natural and wholesome foods. I've also been discovering new recipes just from dreams I've had or ideas that suddenly pop into my head. Safe to say I'm bordering on food addicted ;).


3. A little profile. I was starting to feel as though things were maybe getting a little too...impersonal? The minute you land on my blog you can read all about who I am on the right hand side of the page, which is far better in my view :).


I've got lots of other fun ideas for this blog in the coming weeks, as well as a few guest posts on other people's blogs next month - I haven't done of those for a long time, but now I feel more confident and as though I actually have something to share so I'm excited.


I'm going to be sharing more food stuff, as well as recipes that are mine. Like I said I've been daydreaming up lots of ideas for food, as well as having some very interesting (and detailed) dreams about food and I'm overly excited to share those. As ever, I will be doing my daily updates on my 366 Project and living my life :). 


In my personal life: Our rental agreement runs out in July so I'm mulling this over, too. I love my home but there's so much work that needs done on it! 


- I just found a burst pipe outside my kitchen window - which doesn't seem to be effecting us, but oy vey I could live without that if something does go wrong. 


- The bath needs to be completely ripped out, a new one fitted and we need a new panel near the taps.


- The mold* from every room (excepting the kitchen and bathroom) needs scrubbed off the walls (for the millionth time) and well I think the doors and our living room need a paint make-over. 


*Is it mold or mould?

My Two.

69/366

I've come to terms with the fact that, at least for now, we're a family of three. We also might stay that way for a good few years (or for the rest of our lives, who knows.)

It's hard to deal with that because Roman is such a daddy's boy. Today I was thinking about who could have fulfilled this daddy role, out of all the people I know and the ones I've known. Yes, I'm sure you can be a father but to be a dad and daddy is an extra special thing. To be there every day/as much as you can be, involved and excited to share your child's life - to me that's what a dad is. And that's what Roman's dad is. What a blessing to see this in action every day. We're just so fortunate.

And although I wasn't feeling my best today I was very grateful Bryan was around to look after Roman for the whole day. I hate being sick because it feels like I never get to spend any time with Roman but luckily tonight Bryan had to attend a church meeting due to his calling in the Young Men's program ;). Me and Ro snuggle under a blanket, watch In The Night Garden and he'll offer me a dozen kisses and 'cuddos.' 

Oh and I found this blog tonight. Like I need another Mormon to follow on Blogland. I just can't help myself, we're pretty damn tootin' good at this blogging thing. Must be all our years of keeping a journal ;). 

The Internet: Love & Hate.

{Image: Pinterest}

For a while now I have been so careful. Nearly every post I create and share with the world, I think about. I think about the people I implicate, the things I say, the way I say it...I think about it all.

After all, if you share it on the internet it's 'out there' for everyone to see. But I also think that give and take attitude should be considered by the readers of any blog - if you don't like what you see, it's okay to express that, but please think about how you'll go about doing that. As bloggers we really do think about our readership and care about them. But we're people, too. Behind the pictures of our well-dressed children, our posts on how to make pita bread pizza and our computer screens sits a real, flesh and blood human being. With feelings and emotions.

Over the weekend I became quite reflective and spoke about a past relationship I had here. Before I published the post I had to think it through very carefully. Did I want people to know things about me they hadn't known before? At least, not from my mouth. Sure, people can (and will) assume what they like...but I hadn't said the things I did before the post. Ever. Not in person, not over the phone and not even to my mum. I'm pretty sure I hadn't even shared my thoughts with my husband.

A relationship like I had is something I don't think about very often, let alone let off steam or talk about. I don't get the opportunity to talk about it and quite honestly I don't know if I care enough about it to go there all that often. It happened, it ended and I'm over it. I don't know how many ways I can say that, really.

It's just that there are some blog entries I read from other people and I think to myself; 'woah, they're sharing a little close to the bone here.' And although I've had several people email me to congratulate me on my ability to lay myself on the line and shoot from the hip the truth is that I'm actually quite a private person. 

I explained in my previous post that I kept my relationship on the down low. I saw that my friends would get into relationships and suddenly everyone comes rushing in with the advice, the unwarranted remarks and somewhat catty comments. 

I see blogging in the same light. If I don't want someone to criticise me, I better not write that post. Or if I do write a post and someone takes offense/finds something wrong with what I've committed to words then I better make sure I'm ready to deal with it. Whether that's to completely ignore the nonsense or engage with a comment or reply to an email, I better be ready.

There are things I've said on here and there are responses I've had that I've found tough to deal with. I won't specify anything but suffice to say the negatives and the hurtful responses have been to a minimum - I'm either very lucky or very unpopular ;). But the things people spend 30 seconds on writing, they have an impact on us. Whether we admit that openly or not, they hit us in some way. 

Another example of this is when people say stupid things on Facebook. I usually find the people who know me the least say the most hurtful things on-line about me. Ranging from me throwing a tantrum, to me being a horrible person, a bad mother, a brain washer, selfish, judgemental...etc. The list goes on. And on. At first I would retaliate with people and engage their own negativity until one day I realised; those who matter don't mind and those who matter don't mind.

In other words if someone really thinks all of the above about me, they are welcome to think that way. I won't stop them. But I will continue to do what I think is right and live my life. I won't change my values or views just to get a popular vote - I never have and I won't start doing it now.

I remember being 15 years old and being at a very strange party (sorry mum. You never knew about this) where everyone was either drunk or drinking. I couldn't tell you, even to this day, what was strange about the party it was just a certain vibe. I knew I shouldn't have been there. For a start me and my friend had talked around the party and I think I'd even told my parents we'd just be hanging out at my friends place - my friend then told her mum that we'd be hanging out with another friend, I suppose it's the old cliche and not very original at all. 

Anyway...this party was weird. There were plenty of people around to talk too but the lights had been put out and there was a horrible strobe light going off in the corner of the room. The music was too loud and I felt sticky, hot and awkward. It's the sort of situation I would die if I found Roman in it when he's 15 - in fact I'll send him to military school if I ever do!

Like I said, everyone was either drunk or they were drinking booze. Being 15 and Scottish it is not uncommon to be drunk or drinking. But let's remind ourselves that I was LDS, 15 and Scottish so it was a different playing field for me. I refused any drinks for fear of them being spiked with alcohol or drugs. I was polite to everyone and made good friends with one girl there, but apart from that I really didn't want to be there. I don't remember any pressure to drink and anyway I didn't usually cave to peer pressure - I only did things to try them or because I wanted to do it.

I never had a strong urge to experiment with drugs or alcohol - and there was plenty of opportunity in front of me should I wish to. I just wish I could show that part of my personality and my life story to anyone who doubts my strength to say no, my strength to keep doing what's right and my strength to really do all I can within my means.

The point is that back then, at 15 years old, I knew drink and drugs were bad. I didn't want to go down that route because I knew I would only let myself down if I did. I see returning a negative comment back in that same light. I see retaliating and responding (and feeding) negative emotions and actions to be just as destructive as drink and drugs - okay, maybe not in the same way, but definitely in the same vein.

When the party ended I remember the mess of the place. I remember seeing it with the lights on. I remember the words that came out of many people's mouths; "We respect you." 

I want to be the same with blogging and with the negativity on the internet. I want to be free to say what I feel is okay to share - which would only be appropriate to share off line as well as on line - and I want to share my life with people, free of the judgement I've seen being made on other bloggers over the past few days. We should be free to share innocent videos of our kids, free to share what moves and inspires us without fear of what a small minority will respond with.

I can't promise that the bad feeling and comments won't hurt me, because I am sure they will. But I want to hear, 'we respect you, Cara. We respect that you don't hurt us back.' Maybe I'll never hear it, but I will definitely feel it for myself.

And as Bill and Ted say: be excellent to each other. 

The Other Half.

I go on about The Other Half of me quite a bit - B, my love, my husband, best friend and everything in between.

I used to think a majority of guys were brainless jerks motivated by boobs, but I still managed to power my way through dating a lot of them.

I was fed up of dating when B got home from his LDS mission (I love LDS missions, I fully endorse them to all able bodied/worthy young men and women!) and made it perfectly clear I did not want a relationship with him. Ever. I even went onto rant to several people about how much better off alone I truly was (looks like Beiber was right when he said 'never say never.')

Um yeah, that was before he spoke to me on the phone for four hours, listing the many ways in which he would be a better boyfriend - and made no bones about marriage, either, may I add - than anyone else. Ever. He wouldn't hang up until I agreed to a second date (in a non creep-fest way.)

He did the thing I wanted everyone to do. Never give up on me. Because so many had. And  he knew everything (oh yes, everything) about me and still loved me in spite of that - and vice versa for me and him.

Like the Marilyn Monroe quote says, he saw me and handled me at my worst and definitely deserves me at my best. 

That's why I'm glad he's joining the Blogging ranks and has set up his own little blog all about democracy and his views on the World (we kinda, totally, LOVE democracy in this household.) So, if you want a view into a wonderful mind, go and check out Bryan's World.

I can't wait to see the things we talk about on this blog of his!


And since we're on the subject of blogs; I need votes DAILY on Top Baby Blogs. Why daily? Because I want the #1 slot! :) And, just sayin', but you can vote twice in a day. Yay!

I am, It Turns Out.

This post is a response to THIS.

I am an LDS woman. 

To many people out in the World this could mean a whole host of things. To me it is very simple; 

I'm a mother, 
a wife 
and I am a feminist.

(Image: 15 of the Most Sexist Marketing Campaigns.)

For many years I fought with my conscience on the "feminist" title. A lot of people I met defined feminism in very small and pigeon holed terms; bra-burning lesbians who want to stick a stiletto into a man's crotch and this didn't do anything to satisfy my curiosity.

My high school career was short lived (by four years) and I didn't really learn anything new. I never learned about the suffragettes, that women were campaigning for the right to a vote and dying for the cause. I knew it had happened somewhere in history but the fully story was hazy at best. My basic understanding was that women had once not been allowed to vote and now they were and that we should be grateful they were and that was that.

Gradually over time I collected little bits of information on feminism and on women's history.

I bought a Germaine Greer book when I was 17, nearly 18. From that book I learned a lot about myself, mostly things I already knew but that no one would listen too - or that people would roll their eyes at if they did hear me (because hearing is not listening.) There were also things in that book I didn't agree with; such as abandoning monogamous relationships. 

And just because Germaine Greer said so, didn't make it so. She did not have the monopoly on feminism (and nor am I implying she ever had it or wanted to have it.) There were rules I could make up for myself. 

I had worried for a long time that I couldn't be both feminist and LDS (or Mormon.) I worried that being a feminist went against everything I had ever known spiritually. I am not an ignorant spirit and I have always been hungry for knowledge so when I learned more and more about feminism it made me really angry. At who I'm not sure; was it at the people sitting behind desks deciding that it was okay to show a man stepping on a woman's head in an attempt to advertise rugs? The men in government all those years ago who decided it was okay that women shouldn't have a right to whose in power? Either way, something was wrong with this.

Sure, maybe it was "all in the past" but that didn't mean it didn't happen or it should be forgotten about. It also didn't rest easy with me that because of a sexual organ separating one sex from the other that we should be treated differently.

And by "differently" I don't mean that there aren't differences because it is perfectly obvious there are differences; physically, spiritually and even mentally.

But that isn't something I feel I can generalise. Some girls like tractors, some little boys like to play house and dolls. Some little girls love to hand craft things and some little boys like to play in the dirt.

As a child I was considered a "tom boy." At least that's how I classed myself  because luckily my parents didn't have labels for us. We were James, Fiona, Cara and Fraser - and that was that. We were unique in our own ways, but not because we were male or female - because that is a given - and being a "girl" or a "boy" isn't a personality trait, it's a physical fact.

My Dad would talk to me about computers and computer games that were considered "boy games" by everyone else. I took a "boy blue" Thomas The Tank Engine lunch box with me on my first day to school. I also played with Barbies, baby dolls and had a play kitchen. I wanted to be married with children. But so did my younger brother, Fraser, who owned a small vacuum cleaner, loved doing dishes and would show the same interest in playing cars as he did with dolls. 

I applaud my parents for not smothering us with gender ideals and for treating us as people. 

Did my Mum dress us in frilly socks and flowery dresses? Yes. She did. But by the same token I didn't understand the frills or the flowers - they were just nice, not a sign or a constraint of who I was or wasn't. Not an aspiration of who I should be or what was to come.

(Image: 15 of the Most Sexist Marketing Campaigns.)

I realise that yes you can be LDS and a feminist. In my faith we're entitled to an equal partnership in a marriage. We run our churches alongside our men and they alongside their women. We're in harmony with one another. We're constantly working together to make things right, to make things work. We can't have eternal salvation one without the other. 

Maybe not everyone has experienced such a harmonious time as an LDS woman; maybe you've had a bishop, stake president or whoever whose said some shocking things to you. Maybe it happened in the home. Or in a Sunday School lesson. I don't know, but all I can say is: that's not how it's supposed to be.

Should we strive for equality?

Yes. But we shouldn't fight for it the way we are now. Yes, now. Even now after years of women endlessly proving they can do a job just as well as - or even better than - a man and deserve the same rights and privileges and not be judged for the anatomy they are born with.

I think in the current fight for equality we lose who we are as people. We become warriors against each other rather than fighting for that child who used to carry the blue lunch box to school, climb trees, defy norms and always arrive home with grubby hands after playing in the mud.

It's not a man's World. Nor is it a woman's World. It's OUR World.

Putting you out of your misery

I've been keeping everyone in the dark (and to be honest really enjoying that fact!) over on my Facebook for a while now. 

On Monday I posted that I have BIG news - and quickly added I wasn't pregnant just to avoid the slew of comments that would bring.

It's no secret that I appreciate a spot of Social Networking. Lately I have cut back on the time I spend on there because I want to spend more time on me. Rather than on the things that eat my time and will be of no recollection or purpose in the years to come.

By saying I'm taking more "me time" I don't mean in a fluffy sense of the word. I want to better myself with education, opportunities and experiences. While there are joys in life to be found on status updates and pictures, the real World is out there waiting for me to grab hold of the many things it has to offer. 

Well done Mum and Dad, your hard work and perseverance has paid off. (And P.S I love you.)

So, in an attempt to better myself with opportunities, I took it upon myself to apply to be a weekly columnist HERE.

If you're a true lover of all things handmade - and of course my brilliant writing skillz! - then catch up with me on the above blog where I'm going to be blogging about living frugally. 

Oh and just for kicks and giggles, if you want to view my profile HERE . I think I look suitably smug in my photo (which was, believe it or not, totally unintentional.) 

Don't miss out!

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When you comment I'll even give you a shot of my air guitar!