I open up web-pages of other photographers and panic washes over me. You'll never be where they're at. You'll never get close.
I never pretend to be anything more than a keen amateur, but I do want to be more than this. One day. I'm still learning right now and would prefer to give myself at my happiest - and right now I couldn't produce photographs that make me feel like a professional. I wouldn't be happy going to bed at night knowing that.
I need to be professional, but not perfect and it's drawing a line to separate the two. That's the hardest bit. I always think perfect is professional and that professional is perfect. How wrong I am for thinking that way.
And yes, I'm right. I will never be where these other people are at because they are at different stages to me - I can never experience their learning curves and I can never have their lessons learned. I can only have my own. And I will get close. I'm already where I wanted to be; taking pictures of my son and enjoying doing that.
I suppose I lack the confidence from time to time because I don't know anyone who can give me feedback so I have to decide if it's the photograph I was going for, if I'm happy with it. And 8 times out of 10 I always think to myself; I could have done so much better.
It's always the case.
