Books and Pee Pee.

Using the toilet is a funny life skill. I feel like the whole world and their toddler has grasped this concept meanwhile we're struggling forward with it. Some days he'll run to his room, put on a pair of pants and then happily pee independently without me helping him in any way - this includes him pulling his pants on and off, getting to the potty and then standing up to use it. Then there are days like today.

Today he wanted nothing to do with the toilet or the potty but would loudly proclaim in the middle of us doing something (playing, putting away clothes and the like - always doing it together and nothing heavy so that we could drop everything and run to the bathroom if need be) that he needed to use the toilet for a pee pee. "Quick!" he'd tell me. "I need use toilet, I need to pee pee toilet!" so we'd run through to the bathroom and as soon as he began to climb the red stool he'd tell me he didn't need. Then he'd use the toilet, so long as he had a book, so I collected Peepo from his bedroom and he still didn't want to use the toilet. 

When he wanted to take his book through to another room I told him it was just for the toilet, just for when he needed a pee. Heeding my rules he set it up on the stool, in the bathroom, and read from it there ;).

I keep telling myself through every wet pair of trousers and the many wet pairs of pants that I've washed that we'll 'get there' with the toilet usage...but sometimes I want to cry at how hard this whole thing is in comparison to everything else he's learned. I sometimes think to myself 'tomorrow will be different' and it gets worse or sometimes it's easier but it's never consistent. I don't use shame, fear, anger or discipline when it comes to toilet using and this makes it easier for me and for him, I'm sure of that. If he wets himself I simply say 'let's take you out of these wet clothes!' and once he's stripped? He runs to his room, for another pair of underpants. He's eager, he's showing that he's 'ready' according to all of the books but sometimes it's so much over whelming hard work that I want to hit fast forward three years and pass this phase. I know we'll 'get there' but the space in between now and getting there is tough and oh so draining. 

Once Upon A Potty.

A very nice book arrived today. It's a book all about using the potty, where our bodily functions come from and makes toilet using less scary for little ones - and their parents!

While we were in Thurso Roman asked me several times to put him on the toilet. I obliged his requests but nothing happened. This is odd as he usually does pee when he asks for the toilet or manages to pull down his pants to use his potty. We've gone off course with this potty and toilet thing but as soon as Roman was at home from Thurso he has used the toilet several times quite happily and very freely. My mum was here for a good week or so after we got home and sang to Roman 'pee pee in the toilet!' which he has been chanting ever since whenever there is toilet talk around here.

I've been putting off getting this book until I really went at the toilet using with Roman...but I bought it last week from Amazon and it arrived this morning while I was sleeping. I had been banking on giving it to Roman on Monday, when he starts full time toilet using/independence, but like I said; it arrived while I was sleeping and Bryan gave it to Roman this morning ;). I'm glad as it seems to have sparked off Roman's interest to using the toilet again and I'm hoping that come Monday, despite the odd hiccup, we'll crack this thing together (me, Roman and Bryan when he's around.)

This book is really lovely and is a gentle way to introduce children into the world of full time potty/toilet using. It also comes as a 'girl' or 'boy' version and this is handy as it explains where pee and poo come from. Also...if you're squeamish with cartoon poop or pee; probably not your kind of book. As for Roman? He loves it. He waves his hand up to his nose and shouts; ""PEEOOWW!" at the poo scenes ;). 

The Big Prize.

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Cashew nuts are consumed every time we ask Roman to use the potty - or rather, remind him to use it. We're getting to the stage where he's very eager to use it by himself and today he went outside and on a trip to the shops and remained dry throughout his trip - and for a good hour after.

We're both starting to notice when he might be needing a wee - he crosses his legs, stands still and sometimes will be very quiet. When he is showing these behaviours we strongly guide him towards the potty, don't take our eyes off him (I don't anyway) and I encourage him to drink. Once he's on the potty I make a low hissing noise, imitating the noise of a pee :P. In the past this cue has made him go, these days it's a mixture of being reminded to go, getting to the potty on time and then to sit on the potty for a while. 

Every book I read tells me I should be prepared to keep him on the potty for 10-20 minutes. He won't even sit for 10-20 seconds. When he gets up either Bryan or I have to show him there's 'no pee pee' in the potty or remind him that he's not quite done yet. He'll happily sit back down - if he's loaded with his 'Gerald' book and cashew nuts. Well, today, he did the biggest pee ever in the potty. Bryan made me take pictures - I won't share them here ;).

We rewarded his potty usage with a lollipop - and he seemed pretty pleased with his 'prize.' I've always been against rewarding children for doing something that is, you know, a basic human bodily function outside of a nappy but my goodness me I was just so happy he'd peed somewhere other than our carpet that I would have bought him a pony or a yacht at this point. I felt like he understood what this whole thing has been about and I feel as though we've done it without coercing him into it or scarring the poor boy for life - I've met many children who are afraid of toilets and potties because of traumatizing potty training experiences and didn't want the same for my child/ren.

I can't really remember my own potty training experiences but from the fragments I do remember it was mostly a fairly relaxed and happy affair. It was a gradual process for me and it's the same for Roman. Slowly we're getting to where we'd like to be as a family and for our toddler. I am happy.

Potty Training Our Dinosaur.

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We got things off to a start a little today with potty training. 

I'd like to go at it with a no looking back on using nappies attitude but Bryan would not. I know Roman isn't bothered either way - he likes wearing pants and nappies. The truth is that with me being ill (not that you'd notice as I normally run myself ragged on a daily basis) we mend and make do. What works for us might seem backwards or obscure to others but we have to do what works for our family. 

Luckily everything else has happily fallen into this wonderful pattern where everything has worked out for us and I keep reminding myself that learning to use the toilet full time will come, just like everything else. Roman just needs us there to cheer him on, to guide him with gentleness, to wipe up pee and to wash his wet pants ;). Any parent or carer of small children who have been here before know what I'm talking about, I'm sure.

There was a little hiccup with using the potty in the morning. Roman didn't want to try the potty and pleaded for a nappy...that was until we got a pair of pants out of his drawer. He loves pants and that makes me happy - it's the little things ;). I wouldn't say we're militant on this regime we have going but once we've used up our disposable nappies they're gone, all gone. We do have a stash of cloth nappies that we'll use for night times and naps - it keeps our home happy to do this so I'm going with that. 

After Roman went to the potty (a story I'll keep off the blog to protect his dignity) we fitted him with a nappy. Shortly after he had it on, he wet it. He pointed to it and said 'oh dear!' I checked him and sure enough it was wet. He's aware - he's always been aware - and right now is a great time to start guiding him through this process.

Pray, cross your fingers, do a rain dance or send wishes to the moon that this goes well for us when we go for it full time. I'm scared it will end horribly and he'll regress back to nappies...but I'm also reminding myself that every parent must feel this at some point.

Saturday: New Pants Edition.

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Being locked in your own home is not much fun. But seeing as we were locked in for the day - with only access to the garden, seeing as Bryan had a Priesthood meeting at church and took the keys. If I had gone out the front I would have locked myself out - I decided to try out the new pants that arrived in the post for Roman. If you want to read about how that went click on 'Read More.'

To The Loo.

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It doesn't look like it but today was challenging. 

A lot of tantrums, hair pulling (mine, by him), tears, defiance's and a refusal to go for a nap. Now that I am sitting here writing all this it seems like nothing but in all reality the minutes felt like hours. I found myself looking forward to bedtime and getting some reprieve from all his cheekiness. 

In one of his better moods he asked for my hand and led me to the bathroom. "Toilet," he told me and so I thought to myself, sure, let's try you on the toilet then. I fixed his turtle seat to our toilet seat, got him ready and plopped him on the seat. Where he stayed. 

He then started to act a little silly by throwing everything he could on the floor - that was until I realised he wasn't actually being silly and was just trying to get to the toilet roll so he could wipe. I was quite surprised to see how well he did with this to be honest and had a fit of giggles watching him mimic a very grown up thing - which, of course, set him off in a very adorable giggle fit of his own.

After he'd been sat there for a few minutes I figured he might get a bit bored sitting there with nothing to do and thus jump off the can and totally give up on going there instead of in his nappy so I retrieved his quiet book (made by my mum) from his room and he happily flicked through the fuzzy fleece pages, quite the thing. 

After some minutes of flicking through his book he threw everything on the floor and tried to get up from the seat. I wasn't expecting to see anything in the toilet bowl and was very amazed to see he'd peed in the toilet for the first time ever. When he saw the pee he shouted, very proud of himself, "BYE BYE PEE PEE!" and knocked the lid of the toilet down. I flushed, we had a little cheer and washed our hands - he loves this part of the toilet ritual. 

Formal toilet learning/training/whatever you call it hasn't started. We've been using the potty more and haven't really used the toilet at all - it was only today that he showed signs of wanting to use it. I'm just letting Roman lead the way and once we're done with his packet of disposable nappies we'll try him in underpants and see how it goes (if it doesn't work out, we have a back up supply of cloth nappies. I know. We're bad. I don't care. It seems to be working this way.)

There has been absolutely no pressure or stresses made on going to the loo or using a potty. I bought him a potty when he was around 9 months, have tried him on it now and then since then and well lately he's become more interested in using it. A few times he's been caught short and peed the carpet, but that's okay. It's all learning - for us and him respectively.