Tuesday, 20 December 2011
Do you ever just get so overwhelmed by the cuteness of a newborn? It seems that after Roman was born many others went onto become Mama's and now I have the fever for another baby. Their newborn, earthy smell, those little warm hands pinching the skin around your breasts as they feed.
I even miss the late nights (okay, not really, but it's a good trade off for the other lovely things you get) and the way you could just snuggle them into your chest - that it's enough to comfort them.
I don't feel 'done' with my baby making days, either, I feel deep down there is a little girl waiting in the wings for us. I don't know when or where, but I know she's there. Maybe we will adopt. I'm not sure what Heavenly Father has planned for us, our little family, but I love what I have here, right now. I wake up excited: to see my little boy, to have another day with him, to teach him new things and to learn so much from him.
I also have my worries about what another child means. I was very sick in my last pregnancy, so sick that 9 times out of 10 I was in bed. It lead to me being so sick today. My energy was shot and I'm still not recovered. I'm not bitter about that, I'm just realistic and hyper aware. It's strange to think something 'simple' as morning sickness can cause a long term blow to my health, but it really does.
It sucks. I can't see myself physically bearing another child and it hurts. Especially when I see cute little newborn toes or when I hear the noise a baby makes while it sleeps...
But maybe one day, right? I don't know what's around the corner.