Saturday, 26 February 2011

Parents, stand up for what you believe in.

It's okay if your baby is four months old (and otherwise healthy) and isn't sitting up without the aid of a cushion or some other prop-up.

Except I didn't think it was at all "normal." Roman has a girl-cousin who is two months his senior and seemed to be doing a lot of the physical things quicker than he has; standing on her own at 8 months and walking at 9 months.

Not only this but when I would read about these apparent mile stones and freak myself out. All the while I over looked the fact that at 3 months he was sitting up and rolling himself over from front to back - yes, moments of panicking can cloud your judgement somewhat.

On top of panicking about things he wasn't (but was actually) doing, Roman was losing weight. Not a lot of weight, but enough that the Health Visitor demanded that I start setting an alarm for breast feeds in the early hours of the morning when he began to sleep through the night. This problem with weight is genetic; from my Gran, to my Mum and myself all dealing with the weight loss issue as babies - so much so that the doctor was convinced I had Cystic Fibrosis. 

And lo and behold I didn't have CF and started piling on weight. Same went for Roman. The panic was for nothing - nothing save panicking me.

So now I have a nearly 13 month old that can climb, cruise, stand and hold his own weight on his bandy little legs (actually they're quite chubby little legs.)

He is just so determined to be his own mini man. 

And I am determined that he will keep the essence of that inside him even when others try to take it out of him.

And trust me there will be plenty of professionals and parents (usually other mothers) dressed in sheep's clothing telling you that you're doing something wrong.

Just remember even if you were doing everything right there would still be those determined to offer their advice - unwanted or otherwise - and preach down at you from their high horses.

The "mother knows best" saying has never been more true now I really understand it. Mothers and fathers are on a steep learning curve and sometimes they make mistakes. And sometimes you will tell someone the same thing over and over until you're blue in the face and they won't accept that this is how you want to run the show.

My Health Visitor wouldn't accept I wasn't (ever) going to give Roman formula milk. That's fine. She had her opinions and I didn't agree. We didn't lock horns just accepted each other's views and moved on from that point.

And please. PLEASE! remember the most obvious piece of advice (wow the grammar mistakes are horrific back there but I'm sure you can all stomach it):

Milestones are just an average, they are not an exact science. 

Don't beat yourself up if your child reaches four months and isn't sitting up by themselves. Some babies sit up like this by three months, some by six - maybe even by seven months. As long as your baby is happy, healthy, hydrated and well nurtured then you have nothing to worry about. 

You already have enough on your plate.

...and if you feel comfortable waiting nearly 13 months giving your baby mashed potato that's fine, too. 

People may think you're crazy but you probably have your reasons and that should be respected.
Don't let someone else push you around or disrespect your opinion. 

You're Da Mama (or Papa.)

Don't miss out!

Leave me a great comment.

When you comment I'll even give you some mashed potato!