I've made a really important decision...
If I ever get pregnant again I'm telling no one.
Shall I begin to tell you about the constant horror scene stories I heard, or perhaps the well intentioned "get drugs" advice from men (okay, seriously taking the empathy thing too far on that one, guys!) and last but not least the "YOU'RE HUGE!"
(4 days before my due date, I was 9 months pregnant here.)
When you're pregnant you become public property and Jack and Jill Average turn into Jack and Jill MD/OBYGYN/Midwife.
Seriously, back off people.
The last thing any pregnant person wants to hear is how HUGE they are. Yes, I think pregnant ladies get it. Trust me they're certainly feeling every kick to the groin possible, (just putting it out there) counting every day they have left until their due date (although not more than 5% of babies actually arrive on their due dates) and trying to get through the day (and night, pregnancy insomnia sucks!)
I was transported back to the 7-9th months of my pregnancy tonight while on a Facebook Group reading what Mum's To Be were saying - I'm not some weird person who stalks pregnant women, this group is for Mama's, too - and the insensitive and rude nature of people in this country never ceases to amaze me.
One Mum was so upset as some absolute tool had said she was the size of a house. Excuse me? Let's back up a second here.
The size of a house?
I wasn't shocked as when I was pregnant people kept reminding me (although I think they forgot I'm not blind and I can look in mirrors) how huge I was getting.
On top of the "you're so HUGE!" comments were the constant: "HAVE YOU HAD THE BABY YET?" questions.
Twenty times a day without fail.
When I'm pregnant for the second time I will add three weeks onto my due date. When I had Roman my due date was the 1st of February. By the 8th of January people were asking if I had any twinges/signs of labour yet - with a few asking if I'd had the baby yet. Fast forward to a week later and my Facebook wall was covered in queries as to where this "stubborn baby was."
On the 2nd of February I had people telling me they'd perform a C-section on me themselves if the baby didn't show up soon.
On top of not sleeping, not really eating properly and the insane trips to the toilet I could have done without these queries, comments and insults.
So this is my plan of attack for next time;
Hide under layers of clothing for as long as possible, stretch the truth about the due date and delete all comments on Facebook related to the pregnancy.
And definitely make one of these cool time lapse videos!