Adventures.

 I'm off on an adventure to the Highlands of Scotland today. Wish me luck as we pack for all kinds of weather that might happen; rain, sun and wind. 


I'm off to look after my parents cats and dog; Shadow. I'm sure I'll inundate you with pictures and Highland tales on my return...I'll just have to get through all the washing first.


This was last night's task: the packing. 

What's in the suitcase? It's his stuff. Not too much, not too little and just enough to cover almost any season. Scotland is like that. Temperamental with it's seasons.

I was going to try and fit everything into this bag, my hospital bag. But I was fooling myself big time.

Wish me luck. We're about to do a 6 hour journey with an almost 20 month old. Hope we end up with passengers similar to ones we got last time; by all accounts I think they were grandparents and they spoiled Roman for two hours with their time and funny faces. 

Which was a welcome change to the dirty faces many other passengers pulled when we dared bring a buggy onto public transport. Roman wasn't even making any noise and that's why they call it public transport. I don't always want to travel with smelly rude people but I don't have the luxury of choice if I travel on a train. 


So please, fellow passengers, who're giving me death glares, please keep the assumptions to a minimum. I'm not going to let my child needlessly scream, squeal and if he cries I will try to do all I can to soothe and comfort him. It's not always possible. I, too, get my head done in by the screams of children. It's not as though motherhood has somehow prepared me any better for them. 

Anything but...

Remember when I posted about my Google search terms for the blog here? Basically these are the most popular search terms used by people, on Google, and they'll end up here because of it.


Well I had a look, out of curiosity, tonight and this term came up:

mormon perfect life blog

I have a problem with this. Number one problem is that a lot of journalists have recently written about how 'Mormon blogs' have sprung up all over the Internet - with the authors of the blogs being housewives who write about their 'perfect Mormon lives.' My life is Mormon, but it's not perfect.

I love my beliefs and my life but I struggle with both - usually struggling more with the latter. There is a great implication in general that somehow those of a particular faith or belief lead these impeccable lifestyles - or at least lifestyles that try to be impeccable.

Well I'm here to tell you that I'm probably like you. I slum it in my worst clothes around the house from time to time. I have arguments with my husband over things that don't matter the next day, although I'm trying to cut back on those because an argument free household (at least between my parents) is what I grew up in - and it was great. I also question my abilities as a home maker, which are thin on the ground. I can go days where my hair hasn't been washed. And I don't bake my own cookies. Although, that would be great.

The thing is that, I feel, with my beliefs as they are I am a pretty happy person in life, in general. Yes the every day grind wears me down as much as the next person and sometimes I don't understand the conveyor belt-like set-up of housework (something gets dirty, clean it, something gets dirty again, clean it again) but as I know my Heavenly Father personally knows me, I feel secure as a person. 

We're also taught to honour each other as husband and wife and with that you have to learn empathy, understanding and trust like nobodies business. A husband has no dominion over his wife and a wife has no dominion over her husband. They compliment one another as they stand side by side. And perhaps it's that great equality we've managed to find in our relationships, that the World seems to lack, that makes us come off as 'smug' or 'perfect.' And what's wrong with perfect?

Yes, granted, I don't feel it's a state any one can reach in this life. This life is our perfection dart board. We try to hit that bullseye and miss, but it doesn't mean we stop trying to reach that target. 

Perhaps perfection is so far-removed from where the World, societies and cultures can be right now that the very idea seems so far fetched to people who look in from the outside? I don't know.

All I know is my own life. And my own beliefs. And all I know is that I am not writing this 'Mormon perfect life blog.' I am capturing my families life, as we grow - and it's not perfect. In fact it's actually quite messy, fun and full of tears and grammar mistakes.

Steve Jobs: A fitting tribute.

I am in no way an Apple customer. And by that I mean products like the iPad, iPhone (pictured above) and whatever else Apple Mac make these days. I don't mean that I don't eat apples because I do. A lot of them. 


So when I saw many updated statuses on Facebook reading; "Steve Jobs, RIP" my curiosity got the better of me and I found myself Googling the name. "Ahhh!" I said upon discovering just who this man was. "That's Steve Jobs." Well he seemed a thoroughly decent businessman. And he looked cheery. And jolly. And yes the beard helped.


So I am sad that the World lost out on him to pancreatic cancer. And sad for his family, too. 


But in the sadness there will be tributes, beautiful and fitting remarks made by the people who actually knew this man and of course there is always going to be people like me. People who didn't know him but still have some good things to say anyway. 


And that's when I came across the C. Jane tribute to Steve Jobs. I'm a Mormon so it's my kind of humour - side note: being a Mormon doesn't mean you'll understand C. Jane's humour. Half the time I know I don't but this time she really hit the nail on the head of humour for me - p.s I also loved when she tweeted on General Conference 'Is anyone else thinking Pepto Bismal?' when the MoTab were singing. 


Okay so read C. Jane's fitting tribute here. Also, she didn't call it a 'fitting tribute' I just thought it was great and hope to be immortalised by something similar when I'm...well, dead.

Hello Winter.

We celebrate all three of our birthdays in winter. 

B in November, mine in December and baby boy's (2nd) birthday in February, when the weather doesn't know whether to freeze your toes or warm your head.

Ro was 10 months last Christmas and this year he'll be 22 months - two months away from being a whole 2 years old! Don't even ask me to comment on that one because I can't believe time escapes away from me so quickly. 

I started buying Christmas presents back in August - I'm working on being better prepared as a parent. Last year we ventured into Mothercare, in October, where they had a sale on. B talked me out of buying a few lovely items that then shot up to full price once the sale was over so this year my early buying plan is bullet proof - if he complains I just say the words; "Remember Mothercare last year?"

Technology: Digital Relationships.

My husband: the next Prime Minister and Superman. My baby: cutest little person on the planet. Both of them back from General Conference on Sunday.

It was so wonderful to virtually share my thoughts on our General Conference on Twitter this year. Us Tweeps (I think that's the correct terminology) took to our accounts and got a Twitter trend on the go (how amazing?!) with the hashtag #ldsconf. 

I've been so in awe of Twitter and how much more amazing than Facebook it really is - by the way, Zuckerberg, I have been using Facebook less and less these days. 

Anyway...

1. my name on Twitter. MamaChaser. Kind of weird but I wanted it to tie in with my blog. Now I sound like a pervert who chases mums. Or at least, I really hope I don't sound like a pervert who chases Mums.

2. I have been following the blog ' Diary of a Benefit Scrounger' for ages now and not only do I think Sue (author of the blog) is awesome but it started to feel as though she was my only Twitter friend - the only Tweeps who got back to me were those arguing over a point I made or interested parties in me purchasing viagra from them. I made a tweet about this point and Sue enlisted all these people to follow me and friend me. I know I shouldn't feel honoured, but I do!

3. Yes, that is the name of Sue's blog. Read it. Understand what hourly, daily, weekly and monthly life is like for a sick person. Maybe you won't understand, maybe you will but I think you will come away smarter either way. 

4. I loved our LDS Conference. There is a lot of unrest in the UK right now (read: I feel this way) and it was so nice to have Sunday 'off.' Not thinking about what the next few weeks will mean for me and my family (it concerns Atos and my appeal with them, following a tribunal) for a day was lovely. Tuning into the voices of those who speak common sense was lovely. Not having to listen to another politician make promises they can't keep was lovely. Hearing a prophet speak and tell you everything was going to be okay: priceless.

 5. Even though it was virtual (on Twitter), seeing what other members took from Conference was great. I shared my own thoughts and loved reading what others took from it, too. I felt very immersed in Conference this year. B took Roman to church for most of it and I sat at home, watching on my laptop - a blessing for the sick and disabled members, I tells ya! It's our lifeline like you wouldn't believe.

I could rabbit on about these topics forever, so I could. But for now I'll leave the floor open for you to share any experiences and thoughts you might have.

Parenthood is not a hobby...

"Motherhood is not a hobby to be done in your spare time, it is what God gave you time for." 

- Elder Neil Andersen

Can't have said it better myself. Although would like to add that it can be applied to fatherhood, too, as there are a lot of fathers out there who simply think that by popping their head round the door a few times a week and then buying chocolate at the weekend qualifies them for fatherhood.

Of which I'd like to state that my husband isn't. He gets up with our son almost every morning, feeds him each and every meal, does nearly every nappy change, takes him out on adventures and then bathes and puts him to bed at night. He's a madman when it comes to childcare and I can't think I'd be doing all these tasks so graciously if it was me doing it all full time. 

Sometimes I hate being full time sick but being married to Bryan lightens that burden a lot. He can't invent a cure for me and sometimes doesn't always know what to say when I'm losing it and fed up of it all but he takes care of me and Ro - and does it in a way that involves zero complaints and little criticism. That to me is more than enough and doesn't even cover why I think he's the best husband in the World.

Yet he faces more criticism than praise in the World for his role and that's ridiculous - he is such a huge part of Roman's every day life and will essentially help to shape the man he becomes.

My own dad is a work horse. I can't think of many times where he wasn't working. But when he was with us, he was with us. Present. In that moment we were in. We'd always be involved in whatever he was doing and one time, when my mum was away with my oldest brother at camp, me and my sister convinced him that cookies and lemonade (a fizzy drink in the UK, not the flat American type) were our lunch-box staples. I suppose the balancing act of this deception was that he burned our dinner nearly every night. Karma is served - and very crispy it was, too.

My mum is a power house. Four kids all under 5 years old gives you some perspective on the situation. Both of my parents were always firm with us, but you always knew you were loved. I've known people who had strict upbringings and they didn't always feel loved. I did. There's a difference.

My mum also began home-schooling us (although you didn't call it that back then because 'home schooling' meant you were 'weird') through our school holidays. She called it 'Mummy School' and at first I dreaded the thought of this. We all took part and oddly enough really behaved ourselves. We'd do an hour before lunch and then an hour before dinner and it probably turned me into the grammar Nazi I am today. Part of this home-schooling was scripture study - on top of our family studies - and we'd take it in turns to read various verses of the Book of Mormon, getting through a chapter each night between the five of us.

This all sounds a little strange to you, right? Well to me it was home sweet home. Home sweet normality. And seeing as my brother had some troubles with his spelling and reading it was essential and instrumental in his development. And by having us all join in, it didn't single him out. 

I am so lucky and so glad I wasn't just a weird social experiment of my parents and that I wasn't an after thought or a hobby to them. That I was a real, living breathing individual with my own thoughts and feelings. And I am most grateful to my mum for the time she sacrificed in order to make our development accelerate.

I'm glad they took the time God gave them to be parents.

It's October, it's General Conference.

There are two times a year that I get excited as a Mormon/LDS person. And that's in April and October. We have General Conference, our Prophet, Apostles and Relief Society leaders speak to us and it never fails to feel personal for me every time - despite our 14 million World wide membership ;).


Let me say that when President Hinckley died, I was in shock. I felt so sad and like an era had ended. Gone was the wonderful man who always spoke of love and peace - and how we could all strive to give more of ourselves over in service and in loving our fellow human beings. But when President Thomas S. Monson spoke in the following April, a few months after our last late and great President Hinckley, I knew he would bring his messages of gratitude and love to the fore of our beliefs.


Of my beliefs.


General Conference is so important and personal to me because I don't attend church. I haven't been to a full service in a very long, long time and so the only real contact I have with church is first of all with my own personal scripture study and prayers. Secondly it's when we pray and study scriptures as husband and wife and as a family. Thirdly it's talking to other members of the church in my family. Then there is a mixture of being around members, having missionaries over and doing whatever I can to serve and help others. I'm trying but sometimes I feel like I need to do more. 


So in comes General Conference, that confidence boost that what you're doing is enough. That you're a good person after all. That just because you're sick doesn't mean you have to drag your crippled carcass to church every single week. And even if no one believes you're trying your hardest - don't sweat it, sister, because Heavenly Father knows you are. And Jesus has felt everything, he knows how hard it really is. Even if no one else does. 


On top of the reassurance is the questions answered, the thoughts to ponder, the doctrine to analyse and pray about and for me, personally, it's the close contact with the church. This church I haven't always understood (because I won't lie and say I was a born believer) but have come to really love in the past 10 years of my life. This same gospel that has helped shape me into a better woman. A better wife. A better mother. 


*A fun side note: last night we had the sister's over (missionaries) for dinner. One of them told me that 21,000 people fit into the conference centre. Oh and there's no pillars holding it up.