Tuesday, 24 January 2012

This is Multitasking.


This is multitasking at it's finest. One toddler wrapped in a blanket (he loves it!), one cuddly giraffe almost the same size as the toddler and one daddy whose trying to get on with some work around here. Or perhaps reading about kettle bells, I'm not sure.

Multitasking has been our best friend since Roman was born. When we were child-free you could; go to the toilet in peace, have a bath on your own, brush your teeth without a little friend running around trying to 'help' and all manner of tasks. Now that Bryan is self-employed, it's even more interesting. A lot of the time if he's super busy and has to stay focused to finish something off then the scene is replaced by me cuddling Roman like this...but I am not always well and today was no exception.

I've been running myself into the ground yet again, without much pause. 

For those who know me: last week as these two were napping I somehow got it into my head that I should take Roman out by myself. For those who don't know me: I haven't taken him out alone like this in over a year. In all it's happened about 4 times since he was born, this time included. 

I know that probably sounds deranged to all you young things out there, you're probably out every day and at several groups many times a week - I would give a lot to be in that position but I'm not going to dwell on it.

For me it's a miracle if I even make it out once a week, usually someone with me. I can't handle the energy that pushing a buggy with a toddler inside takes because I am trying so hard just to live and saving my energy for that. Some people have been great with this illness, others not so much. I would love to have more chance and opportunity to discuss it but sometimes it's just too fresh a wound for me to deal with.

There has been a lot I've had to just surrender to and come to terms with - and I'm still happy. My life is full of blessings. Even if everyone in the world hated me I don't think I would care. I'm happy in my little family bubble. They give me the strength to keep going and the belief that someday there will be some kind of cure or a life beyond all this for me, with them. 

I'll be able to run and never get tired, my legs will never hurt, my body will be perfect and all these trials that have strengthened me emotionally will pave the way to that eternal life. For that, I am blessed and for that I am happy.